4.06.2008

There's been too many - I'm done.

Yesterday afternoon, my grandma (Grammy) had a mini-stroke while she was having a check up at the doctor's office. She went immediately to the E.R. and later that night she was admitted into the hospital.
She has 60 - 70% blockage in her arteries. In order to fix it she may need surgery. Tomorrow she's going to have a stress test done and my Mom is a little worried. Which, in turn, makes me a little worried.
Apparently it's Grand-parents day at St. Joseph's. My cousin's Grandma also had a stroke recently and is in the hospital. She had a severe stroke and has a lot of weakness in her left side, and his having trouble talking. My cousin said that she could barely handle seeing her Grandma like that.
While Grammy is in better condition, I still don't like seeing her in the hospital. I broke down last night. I can't take it anymore.
My cous' is having trouble because she's basically never seen anyone in this type of condition. Everyone in her family has always been pretty healthy. For me, another person in the hospital is pretty much just another day. So I should be used to it right?
Wrong.
You never get used to something like this. You shouldn't have to get used to your family being sick. It's not fair. And I'm done being "used to it." I'm done seeing my family in the hospital. Why can't we all just be healthy like Nikki's family? Why can't I be used to seeing people at family get-togethers instead of hearing "oh she wasn't too well, that's why she's not here."
I'm tired of my family missing everything and each other because they're too sick. It's not right. It's not fair. It's not something I want to live with anymore.
Unfortunately in this case, the agency is not mine. I don't know what to do anymore.

1 comment:

NikkiBuell said...

I'm so right there with ya Hol. You know that, too! I'm not likin this whole, family in the hospital thing. It totally sucks.