Stop the denim madness

I hate jeans.

Whoever decided to make jeans a mainstream thing needs to be shot.

Seriously though, they are a pain in the tuckus to put on, they are incredibly binding and you can hardly move in them, and have you ever worn jeans on a hot day? Like, when you actually have to do stuff?
yeah, I don't think so!
And don't even get me started on wearing jeans in the humidity!!

Lets talk about style.
You will look one of three ways when wearing jeans
• Smoking Hot
• Super Nerd
• Mom

This is true for males and females.

So let me make a suggestion.
Just stop.
I can't live upto these expectations.


That time I forgot how to blog...

Well hello! It has been quite some time has it not?
I'm not sure what happened or where i've been, but here I am! Let me tell you the important things.
I now live in Rohnert Park, California with my sister Courtney, Brother-in-law Jorge, and of course my super handsome 18 month old nephew Emilio. Courtney is also pregnant with another baby boy due here sometime in early to mid April. I'm a super excited auntie!
I work as a full-time teller at Wells Fargo in Petaluma, California...just a hop, skip and a jump from my house...and I love my job! I am very happy that I decided to come back to the banking industry and plan to be with Wells for a long time!
I am still single. Shocker!
And I am beginning what I hope and plan to be a life changing fitness journey! I may blog about it, I may not...we'll see how things go.

But to begin....Last year I lost 46 pounds between January and June. It was pretty awesome! I honestly wasn't really noticing it until my cousin said, and I quote, "have you lost weight? you're looking...svelt!" (no idea what that means) but it felt awesome!
The truth is...I was standing on the scale always! So I know the pounds were coming off...I just didn't know from where because in the mirror....everything looked the same to me. Then I started taking pictures and comparing them. That's when I noticed that perhaps things really were changing.
In my face, I went from this....
to this....
That was huge to me!
And then there's this lovely picture...
This is a six month difference.

Listen, I know it could have been better...but the point is..it happened! Noticing the difference in my arms was HUGE to me! I have always hated my arms because they are the most difficult thing to disguise or hide. The don't make Spanx for your arms and even if they did I probably couldn't afford them. So I was happy. 

I did an amazing job last year but i'm afraid to admit...it was not all because of my efforts. My job required me to walk two hours a day and my favorite fast food joint was about a thirty minute drive. Don't get me wrong I was grateful for the push! But its time I do it all myself. 
I don't have to walk a dog everyday and Taco Bell is about a 5 minute drive...2 if i'm hungry enough. So what now? 
Well, for one of my New Years Resolutions I vowed to cut out soda. And I did an AMAZING job for about...20 days. :( I've struggled since then but I have not failed. As a former smoker I know these things take time. Unfortunately for me I have an addiction to caffeine. I am blessed with a love of Tea so i'm finding healthier methods of getting my fix....but I still have a love of soda. Damn you Pepsi Co.! Damn you!
Another of my resolutions is to lose more weight. And that's not going to happen in one day either. I'm afraid actually, that I may have gained back some of what I lost...and that's not okay. 
So, its time to get back on the horse. It's time to take control of my life and my body! I don't have an elaborate plan. I don't have a contract with a Crossfit coach and I'm not taking up a Yoga lifestyle. I am, however, going to make healthier choices. I am going to get back into the gym...whatever I do there...the point is i'll be there. 
I love working out and being active! Its just easier to be lazy....well, enough is enough.
All I can say is, wish me luck. And perhaps I will keep you all updated along the way! 


My Life Feels Backwards

On a typical work day, most people will rise from their slumber early, in order to prepare for their job. They will take a shower, dress themselves professionally and spend quite a bit of time in front of the mirror making themselves look, at least decent, before they head off to spend time with "the man".
In my case, however, it would be a complete waste of my time, my energy, and my beauty products if I were to do this on a typical work day.
My morning consists of me waking up only five minutes before I need to begin working. I spend that time slipping into a pair of gym shorts and deciding which extra large, white, v-neck, t-shirt I want to wear for the day. The only time I spend in front of the mirror is during the hand washing process, in dim lighting after my morning throne time. Or slipping my hair up into the messiest ponytail the heat and humidity of the day will allow. From there I need merely, to decide, whether I shall wear tennis shoes or flip-flops for the day...usually I go with flip-flops because I can just slip them on in the garage.
After this strenuous morning ritual I walk up the stairs to an area that always seems to be at least twenty degrees hotter than the basement in which I reside, and I begin my work day.
I spend my time, cooking, cleaning, driving, and sweating mostly. Only to come back downstairs late at night to take a shower, pass out and do it again the very next day.
But today is a special day. You see, today is my day off! I don't have anyone to cook for. I have no plans to even think about getting in the car and driving anywhere. And I get to spend the whole day inside, where it is beautifully air conditioned. So today, you see...a day where most people would be lounging around in their sweatpants with greasy hair eating junk food. Or going out and about into the summer sun to do some fun activity that their job usually prevents them from doing...Today, I feel pretty. :)


Well, well, well!!!!

Yes, indeed I am alive. :)
I know its been FOR-EV-ER!!! since I have posted anything. I am deeply sorry for that! But I have been quite busy. lol

Well, I'm a nanny in Connecticut (don't know if you knew that) And basically, I love it! lol
I have three adorable kids that I care for and I can't imagine not knowing them. They are perfect! And so snuggly. :)

Other than that I am just working on my designs, trying to build more business. Should have that site up and running fairly soon. :)

That's about it...lol

Hopefully, I will be able to make it on here more often. I am going to try for at least once a week!

Wish me luck! lol



At least its out there...

It has taken me a long time to get here. And I promise, i'm not writing this for attention or pity or, any of it. I'm just writing it...to get it out there. Because even if no one reads it, at least I know I wasn't scared to say it.

I moved to Sandy Hook, Connecticut on December 1st, 2012 to be a nanny. I live with a great family who, in just one afternoon on Skype, I fell in love with. Two weeks later, something terrible happened. We were just sitting at the table, planning dinner, the other nanny and I. She was training me. And the phone rang with a toll free number, so we didn't answer it. But when the machine picked up....I was just scared and confused.

On the machine we heard a recorded message from a woman that sounded pretty rattled. She said something to the affect of, "This is the superintendent of schools calling to inform you that all of the schools in the district are on full lock down until further notice, due to the shooting." I didn't hear the rest because I just kept thinking, what shooting?

Dad (the father) came in just after, me and the other nanny immediately had him listen to the message and I was instantly online trying to figure out something, anything. The only information that I found was about a shooting the night before, in a town two hours away where someone shot her husband. We sat, pretty confused until Dad came downstairs with a bit of an explanation. There was a shooting at one of the schools, not our kids school, but all we knew was that supposedly, the shooter was on the loose.

The other nanny and I had some errands to run so, with a bit of hesitation, we ventured out. At first we sort of just chatted about it. What happened? How? Why? Who could do this? But when we were in the store we started hearing the rumors...and our phones started ringing. Looks like word got out.

I felt loved as I explained to my family members that I was okay, and the kids that I nanny were okay, but that's all I knew...and so far all that mattered. But in the car on the way back home, they announced on the radio that they had received confirmation that at least one child was dead. And that's when my heart broke.

I've never dealt well with losing people. Whether they die or just moved in a different direction I always ache because of it. I love people too much. And I'm not trying to sound saint-like, its the truth. Sometimes its what drives people away from me.

I've never really been sure where exactly it all started. The furthest back I can remember is a beautiful blonde young woman, younger than even I am right now, who taught my Sunday school class when I was only 5 or  6 years old. She was my favorite person at the time and I wanted to be just like her. I remember going to her wedding reception, and dancing with her and her husband, the looked so amazingly beautiful. But the next memory I have of them....is seeing them in the same wedding dress and white tuxedo in caskets at their funeral. They were in a car crash on their honeymoon and they went into a river.....I feel like a horrible person because I still have so much love for this woman and though I see her face in my mind all the time...I can't even remember her name.

I haven't lived here for very long. And I don't actually know anyone that was lost on that day at Sandy Hook School. But I feel so hurt. I've been aching so badly inside for what happened that day and for how many people lost the light of their lives, their children. I feel like, its not fair for me to cry. I shouldn't be hurting because I didn't actually know any of them. Because I haven't been in this town long enough to be a part of it. It's just so hard for me to imagine what they had to have been going through. What happened that day? Why?

I think to myself, "don't cry Holly, its not your right. You didn't know any of them. You didn't lose anyone."
But after awhile I realized, its okay for me to cry because that means that I have a heart. It means that I care. I would be worried if this kind of thing didn't upset me.

I just cannot imagine losing my niece or nephew. I cannot imagine losing my brothers and sisters...even if we don't really talk. I cannot imagine losing my parents. Or my friends. Some days I try to imagine how I would feel if one of the people that I love was taken from me...but instead I just end up thanking God that I don't know, or at least I don't remember what it feels like to lose someone so close. See all of the times in my life, when someone that I know or love was lost, I was too young to really remember any of it. But I see all too often, how the people around me feel, those who can remember it. And it kills me to see them hurting.
And it hurts me so badly.

I once told a friend of mine, "my shoulders are soaked with the tears of my loved ones, and my pillow is soaked with mine." I am always here for my friends and family and....anyone! If they need me, and I want people to know that they can always call me rain or shine, day or night. I may not always have the right answer and I probably won't have anything really great to say that will get you back on your feet. ...but I give awesome hugs. And I guess a lot of the time...I feel like no one is willing to do the same for me. That's probably not true, but that's just how I feel. Alone.

I'm not exactly sure why i'm writing this. Probably just to get it out there. To let people know that I have a heart. Or just to let you know that, I am here, grieving along side you.

For whatever it is....thanks for listening.


You wanna know a secret...?

  • The leaves are turning brown
  • The pumpkin patch is growing
  • Haunted Houses are spooking
  • The floor is cold in the morning
  • The day's are getting shorter
  • Everybody is baking
  • ....and I can wear a sweater all day without sweating like a giant ape in the Sahara Desert!



It's been a minute!

I am so bad at this lately! And things have been mighty busy! Here are a few of the things that have happened in my life recently!

I was able to go through the temple and receive my endowments! (pictures as soon as I find my camera!)

I went to Colorado to spend some much needed time with my family and my best friend Richard.

I have a new nephew!
::Emilio was born on Labor Day in California and I cannot wait to see him when I get to visit for Christmas! ::

I had to move...again!
::I swear if it weren't for the washer and dryer in my apartment I would not live here! The management sucks and they are so unorganized it is ridiculous! I basically had two hours to move and clean everything because of their lack of communication! ::

I have a new position at work! I am the Social Networking Coordinator...which means you can now find my on Facebook, Twitter and Google +.....yay!!! I'll see you on the Inter-Web!!!

Yesterday I was able to go do a session at the Idaho Falls Temple with some friends and we also went to the Museum to see their King Tut Exhibit....it was AWESOME!!!!!!

Well, that's really all I can think of for now. Hopefully I'll be able to be better at keeping you all up to date. Until then...

Vaya Con Dios!