To Better Myself

I've been browsing my list, occasionally adding a few things. I'm trying to decide where to begin. Some things aren't necessarily measurable, but constant. Things such as not being in debt, paying tithing, getting a second job, and finishing the Book of Mormon. So, of course I slowly need to start those things first. Then, I think that eventually the other things will fall into place more easily. Especially since with a second job and no debt i'll be able to pay for what I need for the other things on my list! haha, i know i'm kind of crazy. Hopefully, all goes well.

I'll keep you updated.


The Look in His Eyes

Do you ever look into someones eyes, and you know that you've either inspired them, or you made them proud?
My roommates; Samantha and Anna, and I went to the gym tonight. As they were doing there thing I did my thirty minutes on the treadmill. Walk four minutes, run two minutes. It was brutal! My legs burned and my lungs ached and my breathing was labored and uneven. I could see worry on the faces of my roommates but I knew I was fine, so they would have to deal with it. I pushed myself, and pushed myself and I almost gave up, quite a few times actually. But I did it! I made it, thirty whole minutes. I didn't even die! Haha.
As I get off the treadmill, and I go to stretch. There was a guy, he'd been there the whole time. Never seen him before in my life. Don't know his name, don't know anything about him. But when I walked by him he looked up at me, and as he gave me a high five he said to me, "Good job!"
I saw it in his eyes. He was proud. He'd seen how far I pushed myself. He'd seen my inner struggle of whether or not to give up. And he watched me smile as the timer said thirty minutes and I completed my run. And he was impressed. Seeing that look in his eye was inspiring to me. If someone I've never even met could see all that, in a measly half hour run and be proud. Why couldn't I be proud of myself?
My whole life i've struggled with my self-esteem. With my will power to start things, and to finish them. I've struggled with the knowledge that I Can Do It! But not anymore. It's going to be hard, and that struggle will never go away. But i'm going to conquer it.
If for no other reason than the look in that man's eyes, i'm very glad that I went to the gym tonight.