Hurry up and wait! Wait...what?!!

That's exactly how I feel right now. I have to hurry up and make all my decisions. Then I get to sit here and wait for other people to make decisions that deeply affect me. And I need to know these things! Ugh, i'm trying to be patient but it's not something i'm very good at. And my situations are not making it any easier to learn patience. ....sighs.... I know its not supposed to be easy. But it would be nice.

Technically it was my chance....but it was barely even half a chance!

If you read it before I take it all back....i was just getting my anger out. He has very good points....by the time I can actually get him to tell me what they are! but I have points too...and he's just not listening to them.

and by the way....i hate it when people think that they know what i'm thinking. Don't EVER question my motives about ANYTHING. Because chances are, you are wrong. Nobody but me knows what i'm thinking. So don't pretend that you do.

SHE'S AT IT AGAIN!

I did it!!! I got another sale! Yay. Oh man it felt so good...I was having a pretty crappy day then I ran into one of my co-workers, Darin. "Lose the attitude girl!" I know exactly what he meant, so I did just that. The next door...BOOM! Excellent credit too! Which means "i got money in the bay-ank!" Oh sweet sister lizzy sing me a sweet song of joy!!! Yesss!!! Let's keep it up, shall we?

:i've never been this poor:

Since I got my first job at 14 years old, i have never been this poor. I was doing so well and then it all went down the drain. The thing is, I could get paid really well if I can just sell one a day. Just one, everyday. It's not that hard...unless you're me. I don't know what my problem is. I am trying, but i don't think that my manager believes that I am trying. And that is a bad thing. He needs to see production, obviously, in order to know that I am doing my job. ....sighs.... I really need to figure this out.

I don't do so well with this kind of thing.

I barely mentioned it in my previous blog. I suppose i'll explain it now. On Friday, May 9th we had a tragedy in our office. One of our technicians died on Friday morning. I don't know exactly what happened. He was drinking the night before and he went to sleep on the couch. Apparently he threw up while he was sleeping and he asparated...if that's the right way to spell it. His name was Micah Cronin. I didn't know him too well but, he was one of the only guys that was really very nice to me.
That morning was so hard. Of course I was crying because a friend died. But then I cried even harder because I felt like an idiot for crying. I didn't know him as well as anyone else and I didn't feel like I was allowed to cry for him. I was also crying for everyone in the office and for his family and friends. How must they feel for something like this to happen so suddenly. He wasn't a bad kid at all and alcohol took him.
Poor Cooper was an absolute wreck. He was already so stressed out. And then Jake went home because he felt guilty for what happened. Jake was so cool I can't believe that he went home. I can't believe that anything is happening the way it is.
Today I was talking to this lady who seemed really nice, and I totally had the sale....then she insulted me. I froze, I just couldn't believe someone could say something so horrible to another human being.
I'm so scatter brained right now. I keep trying to give people help and advice when really i'm the one who needs it.
Then I found out that a dear friend of mine has Polycystic Kidney Disease. She's in the early stages but this is a pretty serious disease that can cause Dialisis. She had already put off telling me for awhile so I'm glad she finally told me. But this was just...bad timing.
My Grandma is still doing pretty good but she keeps having more and more problems.
I just wish that there was something that I could do about it. I can't help anyone and I can't fix anything and its just making me mad.
I don't know what to do.

I'm doing it!

I'm actually selling. It feels great, by they way, to actually be pretty good at what you're doing.

I'm 15 on the Top First Year Reps list for the Region! That's out of 40 reps I think....well i'm tied with like...15 people but..still! My name is on the list! That's all i'm asking for. Now I just gotta be on the list for the whole company. And not just Top First Year Rep....TOP REP. I know I can do it....just gotta work at it. And I definitely plan on it.

If you're reading this you know how my day went. Micah was a sweet kid. We'll miss him. Our first half of the day tomorrow, all of our sales and installs, we are donating the money to a charity for Micah's family. I don't care if I sell the rest of the day but I at least want 2 for him. It's going to be tough but I know I can do it. Espacially for someone else. I'm better at doing things for other people, than I am at doing things for myself. It's a curse. But i'm working on it. Haha, not that its bad to help other people, but I do need to leard to help myself first.

Love ya!

Sabado Gigante!!! - Holy-hannah-long-day!

Okay, 9am to 9pm. That's a work day! I was out knocking longer than the missionaries today!!! Yes, I just said that. I got another one today. Again, just a sub but.....still. It's going in on monday....i'm pretty confident that they won't cancel but....crossy fingers!
Keep prayin for me!