Holly Jewell -- What are you up to?

Week 1

2012-02-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

As previously posted I am in a weight loss competition here at BYU-I called the Biggest Winner. It has been a crazy time! I've had a workout everyday this week! Some days I have even been twice. I am sore and tired and cranky and I don't know if I will make it to the end of the next six weeks. But you better believe i'm not going to give up! My trainers are AMAZING! They're always pushing me to do better. And even though I felt like I might have literally passed out this morning, I finished my workout and even sprinted that last half lap of our run and ya know what?! I'm still here, alive and kicking. I really hope and pray that I will see some weight loss results soon but even if I don't, I am accomplishing something. Everyday that I walk out of this apartment and into that gym I've accomplished something. Everyday I tell my body that I can do it, and that I will.
I think the best part is that I know that I am pushing myself to my limits. I know that because this morning I was grunting so much (and so loud) to push through my workout that the whole gym stopped to look, and I wasn't even embarrassed. I have no reason to be, I am doing this!
I am always a little scared, coming back from the gym, that I might not make it up the stairs to my apartment....so far I haven't needed any major assistance so, we're doing good.
So guys and gals....if you have any tips and tricks please, fill me in. If you need any? well, i'm all ears and i'll do the best I can...even if you just need a little push, a little motivation...well, I'm a great cheerleader!

I am Holly Sommerville.
And I'm losing, to win!

The Biggest Winner

2012-01-28T20:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's almost here! The Biggest Winner weight loss competition at Brigham Young University-Idaho begins on Monday where I will meet my trainer and begin my workouts and what I plan to fondly refer to as my first day in hell!

I'm so excited though! All weekend I've been looking up motivational quotes and posters to help me get pumped for Monday and I am posting them ALL OVER my apartment!

I've been enlisting the help of my roommates to keep me motivated and to keep me AWAY FROM THE SWEETS!! That's going to be the hardest part for me...giving up carbs and sweets. :( Mostly the carbs and the soda. AAAAAaaaahhhh!!!!

I'm really excited...and scared! And I am scouring the internet for tips....putting posters up everywhere! The biggest one says GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN! I have one on this very computer that says "If you're not doing homework get up and GET OUT!' ...probably my favorite!

Any tips and motivation is much appreciated! I'm enjoying Kali's sugar free recipes and I am saving my favorites for when I am in dire need! Any healthy and delicious recipes would be great too!

Wish me luck!

Ranting and Raving - The BYU-Idaho Testing Center SUCKS!

2012-01-23T16:52:00.000-08:00

I never really thought that I would have anything to complain about here at BYU-Idaho but if you know anything about me...you knew this was coming. Today I ventured off for my first EVER experience with the BYU-Idaho Testing Center. I've heard some horror stories but I just shrugged it off. It can't be that bad right? Boy, was I wrong!
I started on the Testing Center website to find out where it was. No luck there. I also wanted to see if there were any specific rules I needed to be aware of...nothing there either. Of course it lists the Testing Center hours, slightly helpful. And there is a link that says "Directions to Testing Center" but that only has driving directions to BYU-Idaho campus, and i'm pretty sure I know where that is! After messing around with the website for awhile I just decided I wouldn't wear skinny jeans and that would have to be good enough as far as the rules were concerned. After all I couldn't find anything telling me what else to do or not do. Luckily, I was finally able to get a clear answer on where it was located, from my roommates. So I was off.
It's a good thing I had my I-card with me because apparently they need that to check you in. No one told me that. So they swipe my card, hand me a piece of paper and say good luck....I think I stood there for the longest thirty seconds EVER before he actually told me where to go! He gave me this weird look like, "What are you new here or something?" Yes, yes I am. So I walked in...found an empty desk and went for it...(the outcome of the test is irrelevant since I suck at math) Anywho, about an hour passes and i'm finished so I get up from desk and head for the door when two people at the same time, "WAIT YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH THERE!" and "SORRY HONEY THE EXIT IS OVER THERE!" Thanks for yelling at me in front of all these people, that was nice of you. You also interrupted them in the middle of their tests so i'm sure they appreciated it as well. By the way...since the exit is on the opposite side of the room and around the corner...my bad for not knowing where it was and trust me I looked for signs...there was one...and it was on the door you exit through. Which I couldn't see unfortunately because that door is on the other side of the room and around the corner!
Maybe you will just see this as another horror story from the Testing Center....but now I know they weren't lying.

Couldn't be more blessed!

2012-01-19T23:47:00.002-08:00

I just have to put it out there that my roommates are so incredibly amazing! They are fun and accepting and nurturing and spiritual and hilarious! I could not have been stuck with anyone more perfect! We get along so well, it is impeccable how well we all fit together! I am so blessed and incredibly grateful to have them all in my life!!! I am so happy to have them that I might cry! I know, I know....IT'S AWESOME!!!

(ignore the mustache)

Don't you just love a late January cold?

2012-01-17T00:20:00.000-08:00

This was my big purchase of the day. Lucky me, I woke up on Sunday with a gnarly little cold. So first thing this morning I ran to the store to stock up on all the treats that come with it. (thank goodness for Martin Luther King Jr. day! there was no class)

Now, I swear by Nyquil and Dayquil...they work the best for me but they don't do anything about the nasal congestion. So my roommate talked me into getting this Netipot nasal rinse thingy. I gotta be honest, I was a little terrified to use it but...it was magical! After using it I could actually breathe with my mouth closed!

Unfortunately...it doesn't last forever and the mucus builds up again. No bueno!

But, it's really helped with the headaches caused by the mucus buildup. Just think, if I hadn't used it there would be twice as much in there! (ew!)

Next time i'll just make sure i'm taking my Vitamin C pills! ...lots of them.

I don't like colds!

Bundle up out there!

One week down!!!

2012-01-08T16:34:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness! It's been pretty crazy! Super stressful, confusing, and relaxing all at the same time! I forgot what it was like to have to do homework. I forgot what is was like to do math! YIKES!!

Truthfully, I love it up here! I love my roommates! I love my ward! I love my professors! I JUST LOVE IT!!!

That's really all I got so far!!! I just used up all my creative thinking on a project for Graphic Design and a paper for English! ...but I promise! Pictures are on the way!!! :)

First day of classes @ BYU-Idaho....

2012-01-04T17:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, where do I begin? Oh that's right...at 7:45am. That's where I began my day today. I thought it would be smart to set up all of my classes to start in the morning so that I am up-n-at-em from the get go. Well, today went well. I was out of bed at 6:05am. I was on-time, if not early, for all of my classes. And I only struggled to stay awake a little in my Book of Mormon class. I have been up pretty early for the last couple of days to try and get the hang of it. I have this lurking feeling that it will slowly but surely crash in on my and I wont be able to get any sleep. I've been going to bed at pretty decent times (considering my normal sleep schedule) so I'm sure that will help. And I've been eating breakfast...just cereal, but it'something.

A lot of rambling up there but the point is....my first day went well. Gotta get workin on this homework...I took a little break to write this because I am fighting to keep my eyes open right now! I wonder if the MC Market sells 5 hour energy....?

I caved...

2011-12-22T00:23:00.000-08:00

So, for awhile now I've been needing a new pair of sweatpants for pj's. Shorts just don't cut it in the winter time and I'm moving to Idaho! Not the coldest place on earth, but definitely colder than where I am now! Well, on one of my many shopping adventures today I stopped in the men's section at Wal-Mart to pick up a pair of sweats. I wanted to get away from the plain ol black and grey...I wasn't feeling the blue, and white was just not happening! I was thinking about getting green but they only had them in an ugly foresty green color, blech! So I landed and a pretty nice red pair. (yes, i'm still talking about sweatpants) On my way out they had some $5 Coca-Cola t-shirts. I'd been eying them for awhile so I thought, what the heck, I can always use another t-shirt. So I grabbed one. As a was perusing the aisles I was thinking to myself...maybe a t-shirt isn't quite warm enough either. I was looking at some long sleeved henley's and out of the corner of my eye I saw it. The most beautiful clothing rack I ever saw! FLANNEL! Yes, I said flannel! And I meant it! I landed on a pretty blue one and I got a size larger so that it would be extra comfy. And it is! And I must say, I don't think it looks all that bad either! ;) Red sweatpants and a Coca-cola t-shirt peeking out of a comfy blue flannel....not too shabby!

I LOVE MY NEW PJ'S!

Nighty-night! Keep warm! I recommend the flannel.

Must Admit...

2011-12-20T02:19:00.000-08:00

I'm really really really really really really really really excited that my bro's and my sis are gonna be here in a couple days! My dad will be back from work also...just in time for Christmas! You know what else we need just in time for Christmas.....SNOW!!!!!!! It's already frigid cold outside....have to get creative to keep warm! So why not have a beautiful blanket of fresh powdery snow to go with it? Did you know I own more than 12 blankets? Just me, all by myself and I usually use all of them...at the same time. Been looking into getting some earmuffs....don't know how it would be sleeping in those...maybe a beanie? Eh, we'll see how it goes. The point is! Chad, Saren and Spencer are going to be here in like...TWO DAYS!!!!! SUPER DUPER EXCITED! Okay, goodnight all!

Here I go!

2011-12-19T00:45:00.000-08:00

Here I go! All day today I've been super frazzled and thinking "one week from today I will be in Idaho." Well, all day today I was wrong. It will be two weeks. Not that that makes me any less frazzled! Where did the time go?! I remember in March just thinking "oh, its so far away this is going to take forever!" Wrong again! (I'm sure someone out there would really enjoy this post. Just yesterday we had a discussion about how i'm never wrong...oops!) Anywho, the point is...I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! I feel like I have so much to do and I don't know how to do it! ..if that makes any sense.

I am really really excited to FINALLY be headed off to school. But with that excitement comes a lot of anxiety! It will be four years since I've been in school and even then I wasn't really "in school" I was usually at practice or on a bus on the way to N. Carolina for a game. And before that it was two years since i'd been in school. That is SIX FRIGGIN YEARS! (for those of you that suck at math...Mom! lol, jk, h-i, hop in!! ...there's a movie quote for ya!) I just don't know where the time went!

All in all I know its a really good thing that I'm doing for myself. Now, I don't consider myself a saint by any means but I don't do much for myself. And I'm really excited about this one! I will be praying a lot hoping that I get through this...pray for me?

LOVE YOU!

Moving!

2011-12-17T15:21:00.000-08:00

My new address as of January 2nd, 2012 is as follows:

Holly Sommerville

156 Viking Dr. Apt. 411

Rexburg, ID 83440

I like Letters and Cookies and Pictures and Presents and Recipes!

Love ya! ;)

Dear Elder, thank you!

2011-12-08T22:46:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine recently posted a video that seems to me, it is meant to help inspire our wonderful missionaries as they are out doing the Lord's work. It has also inspired me...in so many ways! I know we all have our own conversion...but there is something special about someone who has converted to the church that didn't grow up with it. You see, to me, church is home. It's something that's always been there and I have always known. I love the gospel so so much and believe it and know it with all my heart. But I didn't have to change much to be a part of it. I didn't have to give up any family or friends to continue to live the standards that I love. To me, converts are amazing! There is a lot of the time when they choose to walk away from everything they've ever known and sometimes their families and friends, in order to live a life they know is right. To me, that is amazing! ...and inspiring!

Do you ever wonder, what is holding you back? What is it that keeps you from changing. It's not that much change. And you've known what's been right your whole life. So what's the problem? The girl in this video, Al Fox, knows what is right. And her life changed before her very eyes and she's living it right! Just like that. To me, that is amazing!

Here is the link to her video, Dear Elder. It's such an inspiring and beautiful message! And I hope that there are many you can share it with! But that is not all, here is a link to her blog. I came across it, as well, along with the video and I tell you she is one amazing girl!

I may not be a convert to the church. But I must admit, I too, am one of the rescued. Missionaries have been a huge part of my life and helping me and inspiring me to live it better. I wish that I could reach out to each and every one of them and just say, "thank you!". Thank you for all that you have done! It is not easy to stand up for your religion without pause, sometimes in a different country, to people you do not know, and maybe even some you do. Thank you!
Let me ask you...have you thanked your missionary today?

I wish I was better at this....

2011-12-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, so for like the 100th time! It's been a while huh? Things have been crazy with work, family, getting ready for school and having no computer! (totally bites) I just don't know if I can keep up with all you awesome bloggers but hey, I do my best. Not sure how much I actually have to report here. But let's give it a go shall we?

-This weekend I was actually able to visit Utah with my family for my brother Alex's baptism. I had a great time! We saw the lights at Temple Square, took a tour of the Conference Center, went to the Festival of Trees.
{sidenote: I must say that as a person who spent much of her young life at Primary Children's Medical Center, for one reason or another, it was really touching to see everything that people do to help those poor children and their families. It made me feel so grateful to know that there are so many people willing to give. Nearly all the trees and Gingerbread Houses were sold when I had arrived...do you know how many trees that is?!??! I think someday I would like to donate a tree for this great cause. A lot of children don't see much outside of that hospital, I am grateful that my Heavenly Father has a different plan for me and that I didn't have to spend as much time there as so many other children. My prayers will always be with them!}
We also got to spend sometime with more of our family and my wonderful amazing Grandparents who were just as funny and sweet and loving as always! I got to see a hilarious movie with one amazing guy! ;) It was just a great weekend.

-Remember when I said January was so far away and I didn't want to wait so long to be going to school at Brigham Young University-Idaho? Well, as predicted by everyone but me, time has FLOWN! January is right around the corner and I am so not prepared! I mean why would I be? That would just make life too easy...and we can't have any of that now can we?

-I'm really excited that some more of my giant family will be visiting for Christmas! Chad, Saren and Spencer will be here in just a matter of weeks! I miss them so much! And I'm so excited to see them for a bit before I run off to Idaho...where I plan to freeze off just about every part of my anatomy.

I think that's it for now. Thanks for checking in! Hopefully, I'll be able to do this more often and become a pro-blogger like the rest of you awesome folk!

Until then....

Let's Read Together!

2011-09-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

I may have sent you all a link on Facebook for this already, but I feel it necessary to post it here for you just in case. (sorry its a few days late)

We are going to read the Book of Mormon by New Years!

I'm so excited! I must admit, I've never read the whole Book of Mormon all the way straight through. How sad is that?!

So when this little challenge was sent to me I jumped at the chance! I guess I figure why not now?! I've started reading each day and I'm doing my best to stick with it. I don't actually own a set of scriptures right now. (even sadder, I know!) So I've been borrowing my sisters or I have the app on my phone and I've been reading from there. Well, that's working but I wish that I could mark everything....luckily, i'm taking a little trip to Utah this weekend where I will buy my very own set of scriptures! yay!

I hope you'll join me on this scriptural adventure! And please if you want to make this a discussion below in the comments...by all means! Who knows, maybe you all will teach me something(s) awesome!!!!

This is the schedule we are going by. Its only been a few days so i'm sure all you smarties can catch up!

Happy reading!

Super Crafty!

2011-09-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend my step-mom had to leave town and I was left in charge of the four younger kids. Emma is twelve. Alex is 6. Jared is 5, and Eric will be 3 this month. Aye-aye-aye!!!! They all have so much energy! I knew that I would have to come up with something awesome to do to keep them occupied.

Well, I've seen these all overPinterest, I've Stumbled over it a few times and even seen it on some Blogs and to tell you the truth, I just couldn't help myself!

We started with a box of 64 crayons. Took out all the blacks and browns and used another smaller box so I had more of the good colors.

Then we hot glued the crayons to the top of the canvas. Looks good so far huh?!

After that we all took turns with the blowdryer.

After just a little while with the blowdryer the wax starts to get real shiny and then .......

VOILA!!!!!

Perfection!

The kids had such a great time! And they behaved! ...for the most part anyway.

Happy Crafting!

"Here today, gone tomorrow" .....lets focus on the "here today" part.

2011-08-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about friendships. I usually have one or two close friends at a time and then something changes in one of our lives and that person is replaced by someone knew. It seems to usually be a smooth transition. No huge heart aches, just two people moving on. We kinda keep in touch here and there for awhile and it slowly dies off and eventually we're left wondering, "what ever happened to so-and-so?"

I don't mean to make it seem so in-personal. I love all of my friends. Those in my life now and those that have come and gone. Those that pop in from time to time. I don't mean to brag but I feel like I have a large capacity for remembering people. Sometimes I'll be on my knees and at random the face of an old friend will pop into my head. I usually just add a little tidbit into my prayers for that person, say amen and climb into bed. Sometimes, though, I remain on my knees and think of where/when we grew so far apart.

Recently, I have grown apart from one of the best people I've ever known in my life. Someone with whom I was especially close. She is incredibly smart and charming. She is an amazing writer! She also had a pretty remarkable re-activation to the church. She mentioned to me a few times that I was a big part of that and that I really helped her along the way. I try to think of what I may have done to help her and regretfully, I can't think of anything. I wasn't a good example in ...any way really. Mostly, I can only think of what she did to help me come back to church. Everybody has their own battles and for me this was particularly difficult. Now, I am no where near perfect but I've come a long way. I have my falls now and then but the thing that always helps me back up is remembering all the support she gave me. Every time I needed some advice, someone to talk to, even a kick in the pants she was there and she set me straight, and that means more to me than anything.

I think of her quite often and am sad that we no longer talk. Things happen everyday and she's the first person I wish I could call. Mostly I feel like I just want to call her and say Thank You. Thank you for always being there, for being strong for me, for standing up for me, and for calling me out when it was necessary. I am more grateful to have known you than you will probably ever know. Its really hard to think back and not have any idea what happened.

I know that sometimes people come into our lives only for a short while and its hard sometimes when they leave. But something I think i'm starting to realize...even though it may be sad when someone is no longer in our lives for whatever reason. I need to do better at focusing on the ones that are here now.

So this is it. I'm really going to try. I love all my friends so so so much. Its about time I showed it huh?

Swimming :) Sunburn :(

2011-08-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

So, the other day I had a day off, Brittany had a free day, and my younger step-sisters are still on summer break. So we all decided to take Ashlyn (my niece, Brittany's daughter) swimming. It was a beautiful day out! Near perfect weather! So we are all ready to go and we get there but before anyone is allowed in the pool I break out the sunscreen. I tell everyone "Don't forget you hairline, your ears, the back of your neck...etc" Britt says, "I put too much on Ashlyn it won't rub in all the way."

"Good!" I said, "we know she wont get burnt that way!"

We are all having a great time! Ashlyn lasted longer than she ever has at the pool! She was having a blast it was the cutest thing i'd ever seen.

About an hour into it I tell everyone they might want to re-apply some sunscreen. We lather up Ashlyn again. She looks like she's been painted white! We're out there for maybe another hour and a half. And then Ashlyn is restless and its time to get home.

Oh, guess what I forgot....in making sure everyone else was protected against skin cancer I failed to put ANY sunscreen on myself. And most of my skin hasn't seen the light of day in years, if at all.

And of course my new swimsuit makes it look as though I was wearing a sports bra to the pool, I wasn't by the way! Worst tan/burn line ever! Seriously, what was I thinking? Or not thinking? It is super de-duper painful. And my lovely sister are helping me out and putting aloe on it twice a day. I hope it will go away quickly. I hope that I won't peel. I hope that someday I can remember to put sunscreen on myself too! Sigh....until then.

It looked worse the next day!

Its been FOREVER!!!!

2011-07-28T22:16:00.000-07:00

I don't have the constant use of a computer and the internet like I used to so its really hard to blog...I miss it so much!

Well, lets see whats going on eh?

Sometime between January and March - I was accepted to Brigham Young University-Idaho. I will be on the Winter/Spring track and I begin in January 2012. Its about 5 months away at this point and I am REALLY EXCITED!!!!!!

April 30th - My beautiful sister Courtney Brianne was married to the wonderful Jorge Andrade.

(I made their invites. check out my other blog to view them)

May 1st - I was made Assistant Branch Manager at Academy Bank and recieved a pretty awesome raise! :)

June 17th - My bestest friend EVER!!!! Was sealed to her husband in the Oakland California Temple. And I would give anything to turn back time and be able to be there for her! Love you NIKKI!!!

July 1st - I turned 24 and to tell you the truth I feel pretty old! lol

July 5th - I took my bike out to Loma, CO to go 'round Rustlers Loop. I crashed and broke my left elbow. :/ Apparently I broke it in the right spot! (whatever that means!) I don't need a cast, which is awesome and scary, and the doctor says its healing up great! I still can't turn a doorknob or lift...anything really. But if you didn't know my elbow was broken...you wouldn't know! I have a pretty good range of motion right now. Only slightly limited.

I think that pretty much sums it up!

Don't worry! I'm working on fixing up my computer/hoping a millionaire will just buy me one. A Macbook Pro. So if you know any charitable millionaire's, send them my way ;)

And so, I will be on posting A LOT MORE again here real soon.

Til then!

my first attempt

2011-02-28T00:01:00.000-08:00

so i'm making my sisters wedding invites...this is my first attempt using picasa...i'm still trying to figure out how to work photoshop

whadaya think?

New Job!

2011-02-20T00:57:00.000-08:00

Sooo, I haven't been doing a lot of updating lately. I'm sorry!

Well, good news! I got a new job! It's crazy how it happened because i've kind of been thinking, "I need a new job" but never really did anything about it. Because even though I was just scraping my on my Taco Bell checks, I was making it. So I didn't find it absolutely necessary to look for something else. One evening I was sitting at home Stumbling and I decided I was going to apply at a few banks online. What the heck! Might as well make good use out of my meaningless internet time. So in between Yanko and and Design Boom (my current favorites) I was putting in a few what I thought would be useless applications. Well, out of my boredom I happened to receive a job at Academy Bank! I love it! I can dress up, I can wear my hear down and the best part is that I don't smell like Taco Bell ALL THE TIME!!!!

I do still work at Taco Bell part time, and at the bank full time. Its a lot of hours but so far its worth it. Its times like these where I am so grateful that, even if for just a second, I was in tune with and followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

There's no greater gift than receiving the blessings your Heavenly Father once promised you!

GOLDS Gym!

2011-02-03T22:29:00.000-08:00

Guess what ya'll?! I joined a gym again! And how i've missed it!

It is just WAAAAYYY too cold outside to keep running at the track so I splurged on myself.

Late Christmas - early birthday...whatever you want to call it I am so incredibly excited!!!! I know I may not always look like it but I LOVE working out! I love running, jogging, walking, biking, spinning, dancing, stretching, yoga, pilates, training, boxing, lifting, push-ups the whole lot of it! I LOVE IT!

So, I couldn't really keep telling myself that I would be wasting money when I absolutely would get GREAT use of a gym membership.

I love having the little fob on my keychain. I love having my workout duffle in the car...ready to go whenever! I love being able to say, sorry...I have to go to the gym.

I LOOOOOVE IT!!!!

SUNSHINY DAY!!!!

2011-01-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

I can't even begin to describe how good today is! The sun is shining! Its nice and not super cold out! and today was the first day I listened to the first draft of my 2011 Summer Playlist. What's better than that? I say first draft because it clearly needs more music, and you always have to leave room for new music that comes out during the spring and summer. I know its January..but you gotta get started on this stuff early! Here's a little preview:

Cartel - Anything Else

Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes

Sarah Bereilles - Bottle it Up

Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into the Dark

The Cure - Love Song

Kid Rock - All Summer Long

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Backstreet Boys - Larger Than Life

Family Force 5 - Supersonic

Matchbox Twenty - How Far We've Come

Don Henley - All She Wants to do is Dance

Black Eyed Peas - Pump It

Keisha - Blah Blah Blah

Michael Buble - Fever

Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Record On

Lady Antebellum - American Honey

You probably know all of these songs but if not you HAVE to check them out. This is just a little taste of whats going on in that shiny little iPod of mine. If you have any suggestions please please PLEASE share!!!!

I recommend you start on your summer playlist as well! Open the windows, spray something that smells like flowers or better yet, BUY FRESH FLOWERS! And then start singing!

Enjoy!

PictureTree!!!

2010-12-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

I was stumbling and came across the DIY website (which is fabulous by the way) and it showed me the cutest little craft idea!

Magazine Christmas Trees!!! Love them! And I have plenty of magazines lying around.

I was about half way through my tree when I realized Christmas had just passed. Sad face.

So I came up with a different idea.

PICTURE TREE!!!!!

If your magazine is big enough the pressure between pages will hold the pictures up just great! Otherwise you can use paper clips to hold them up.

You can spray paint the trees different colors and decorate them other ways if you'd like also....but I kind of like the way it looks just like that! :)

That's my silly niece Ashlyn grace in the pictures by the way. Saving the one on the left for when she brings boys home later in life so that I can embarrass her...i'm such a good Aunt!

My challenge to you is to make your own magazine tree and turn it into something great! Whether you want a picture tree and you want to decorate it or if you have a different idea...I want to see what you all come up with!

Happy Folding!

P90X

2010-12-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

Want to try it sooooo bad! Thoughts, comments or concerns?!

I understand its probably the second hardest thing I could ever do with my life, but I figure as long as i'm committed to it each day and do what I can than it could be really good for me.

Anyone want to let me borrow it or know where I can get it cheap?

Let me know!

Dancer for Life

2010-11-29T23:26:00.000-08:00

I danced for a good portion of my childhood and LOVED IT!

I cried for three days when my Mom pulled me out of Tap (because it was too hard on my knees.)

I have a not-so-secret-anymore secret wish to be a Rockette.

I fell in love with every dance movie I have ever seen the first time I watched it.

After watching Burlesque I want to buy lingerie...and lots of it. (don't know what i'd do with it)

If I hear music I walk to the beat.

Every Christmas I wish I could dance at the Dickens Festival in Salt Lake again.

The song "All I want for Christmas is You" makes me want to tap dance.

Michael Jackson's "Jam" makes me want to have attitude.

I make up choreography in my head to EVERY piece of music I hear.

I remember pieces of a dance I did at Disneyland when I was in elementary school.

I practice them in my head.

That dance was to Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

I still have my Tap and Jazz shoes that I haven't used in over five years.

I put them on occasionally just to make sure they still fit.

I found a dance studio in town that has adult classes.

I'm going to observe a Jazz class tomorrow to decide whether or not I want to sign up.

I want to sign up.

I miss dance.

Life's Little Instructions

2010-11-21T22:46:00.002-08:00

Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated - Watch a sunrise at least once a year - Never refuse homemade brownies - Plant a tree on your birthday - Learn three clean jokes - Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full - Compliment three people everyday - Sing in the shower - Keep it simple - Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them - Leave everything a little better than you found it - Think big thoughts but relish in small pleasures - Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know - Never leave the toilet seat in the up position - Floss your teeth - Ask for a raise when you fell like you've earned it - Be forgiving of yourself and others - Overtip waitresses - Say "thank you" and "please" a lot - Buy whatever kids are selling on tables in their front yards - Wear polished shoes - Avoid negative people - Remember other people's birthday's - Commit yourself to constant improvement - Carry jumper cables in your trunk - Have a firm handshake - Send lots of Valentine's Card. Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're really wonderful." - Stop blaming others and take responsibility for every area of your life - Look people in the eye - Strive for excellence, not perfection - Be the first to say "Hello" - Use the good silver - Return all the things you borrow - Make new friends but cherish the old ones - Keep secrets - Plant flowers every spring - Have a Dog - Always accept an outstretched hand - Wave at school kids on buses - Be there when people need you - Feed a stranger's expired parking meter - Don't expect life to be fair - Never underestimate the power of love - Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation - Don't be afraid to say "I made a mistake" - Don't be afraid to say "I don't know" - Compliment even small improvements - Always keep your promises - Marry only for love - Rekindle old friendships - Call your mother

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

2010-11-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know i'm a week early...but let me explain.

My brother-in-law is leaving on Monday for basic training, and my dad is leaving on Sunday for work...so we had our Thanksgiving today.

Well, in order to be on time to dinner I had to switch shifts with another cashier. My manager, Josh, stated that he would only allow that if I bring him pumpkin pie tomorrow. He doesn't believe that i'll do it....so I baked him a pumpkin pie!

This is definitely the first time I've ever made any kind of pie...it looks good doesn't it?!

Oh, I can't wait to see the look on his face when I show up with this beautiful pie tomorrow morning! I'll let you know how it goes!

MUFFINS!!!

2010-11-15T16:14:00.000-08:00

The perfect morning snack food!

This morning I woke up early enough that I decided I would make a batch of muffins to share with my co-workers...we can only eat so much Taco Bell!

With a delicious mix my sister gave me from Alison's Pantry I got started...they're a real quick make. I decided to use my silicon Mini Muffin pan. (love the magic of the silicon!) I usually have more than 12 people working with me at once...this was to ensure that everyone got one. Ya know, for mini muffins they're actually a pretty decent size!

Turns out...EVERYONE LOVED THEM! And of course it was nice to eat something that wasn't Taco Bell.

A co-worker did ask if I could make a specific kind if I ever wanted to do this again. Banana Nut Muffins sound YUMMO!!! I'll have to look up a recipe but I told her I would do it.

Any suggestions? And remember my address and my email are to the left if you would like to send me recipes of your own...or cookies. :D

Til then.

The Grocery List

2010-11-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

I need to buy a notepad. I am constantly thinking of things that I need to buy at the grocery store but when it comes to writing it down I don't do it. And when I'm at the store I always forget!

Every time my mom made a grocery list I remember thinking, "How hard could it be to remember what you need! I'm never making a grocery list, I wont need it."

Boy, was I wrong! I hardly remember ANYTHING that I need to get. Even, if not especially, when that's the only reason I went to the store to begin with!

Now, however, my dilemma is finding a cute note pad to make my list on. (come on it has to be cute!)

Okay, my task for this week is to go to the Dollar Tree Store (they always have good stuff right?) and find a cute and functional note pad that I can keep in my purse for the ever elusive Grocery List!

Wish me luck!

Martha Everyday

2010-11-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the other day a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she has a bunch of Martha Stewart magazines laying around and asking if anyone wanted them. All I could think was...RECIPES!!!! So now I have a stack of 20 or so Martha Stewart Living magazines! LOL

She was also telling me about Martha's Everyday Cooking magazine that has more simple recipes...I can't afford a magazine subscription but....MARTHA HAS A BLOG!

http://www.marthastewart.com/everyday

I'm soooo excited for this you don't even know! Hopefully, Martha can teach me some new tricks. Cross your fingers!!!

JUST IMAGINE....

2010-11-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

Pumpkin cream cheese roll with White chocolate?! yes? i think so! (and possibly with nuts) lol Oh, its so difficult to pick something for dessert when you don't know what the entree is! SOMEBODY HELP!!!

Dinner Party

2010-11-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

Okay! Today was the first ever official Dinner Party that I have had and I would like to say that it was quite the success! I made baked chicken spiced with Mrs. Dash Original Blend (which is fantastic by the way). We also had salad and Herbed Chicken flavored Couscous...and if you've never had Couscous before? Well, shame on you! I took a photo of my dinner plate and aside from bad lighting and the fact that I took the photo with my cellular phone...it looks pretty tasty doesn't it?

Unfortunately, the salad came from a bag and the brownies came from a box. But hey, progress is progress right? I think I did rather well! I COOKED! I would like to make this a monthly, bi-weekly, or even weekly event and just invite different people. My next feat is to make a completely Gluten-Free meal for my dear friend Andy. He was able to have the Chicken and the Salad tonight but, unfortunately, could not partake in the Couscous or brownies. How sad is that? He missed out on the best part! Well, needless to say, I do need recipes!

I would like to branch out, expand my horizons! So if you have anything that you could share that would be great! I would like to learn how to make foods from different cultures as well! And right now I am looking for Gluten-Free recipes...any suggestions?

Also, I am looking for a great Christmas Cookie recipe for a cookie exchange that I've been invited to next month. I haven't come across anything thats changed my world yet. If you have any ideas for that as well, that would be great.

I'm going to try to get a link set up with my email address. Or even just a little something on the side with my email and home address so that, hopefully, you all can start sending me your favorite recipes!

I can't wait to see what your favorite eats are!

Ciao!

What makes Christmas time special?

2010-11-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am perfectly aware that it is only the day after Halloween. However, I have been waiting for this holiday for eleven months now. So we will disregard the afore mentioned fact.

What makes Christmas time special? Well, of course it is a wonderful time to reflect on Christ's Atonement and all He gave for us. I love Him and everything He did for me and I try to remember that and thank my Heavenly Father for it daily. But this topic is for a later time. Because right now, what makes Christmas time special...are Danish Butter cookies.

Any other time of the year if you were to ask me, "Holly, what is your favorite cookie?" I would probably say, "White Chocolate Macadamia Nut"...while this is partly true, you also broke my heart a little by bringing up the subject. (how dare you?!) You see, my ACTUAL favorites are only sold (to the best of my knowledge[which isn't much by the way]) around Christmas time in those beautifully decorated Christmas tins. So, it is during the rest of the year that I must settle for a less than perfect tasting cookie.

Earlier this evening as I was walking through Wal-Mart (the second best place on earth) I noticed something so beautiful, so breathtaking that I could not look away. And I knew, that no matter what that I would leave that store with one of those tins or I would die trying. They are pretty cheap so naturally, I am still alive and at home enjoying the perfect cookie...with a perfect cup of hot chocolate! (hot chocolate details are still to come)

I do hope that you know or may come to learn the great story of the wonderful Danish Butter Cookies. After all, it is only a mere few dollars away! (really, buy a tin and there is a quaint little history printed on the a lovely piece of paper inside the tin) Either way, I do challenge you to buy at least one tin of royal Dansk this Christmas season. Then you will truly know why Christmas time is special!! (at least for me :D)

"The Sweetest Day"

2010-10-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

"In the rush and whirl of the present day life, we are prone to forget the finer sentiments--the sentiments upon which civilization is founded.
The people of today have the same tender feelings they had a generation ago. They still cling with everlasting reverence and love to their mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, but amid all this confusion there is, at times, a tendency for such thoughts to remain hidden.
In oder that everyone may have an opportunity to express their appreciation of these good thoughts and deeds, there has been set aside, one day out of each year, a day dedicated to the better things in life, and known as "The Sweetest Day in the Year."
There is Mother, who has always stood back of us thru thick and thin, there is Father, who, altho somewhat severe at times, always had that thought behind his actions and deeds that would help make us big men and big women; there are our Brothers and Sisters who have helped us fight our battles in numerous ways; there is our Wife, our partner in life, who is always ready to help the good cause along; there are the Kiddies who come running down the walk to meet us only looking forward to "That Smile" that means so much to them; and last but not least, your Sweetheart.
Isn't the "Sweetest Day in the Year" a grand opportunity for all of us to express our thoughts in a material way and show and prove conclusively to those dear to us that we sincerely and truly appreciate all their good thoughts and deeds? Let us not let a single instance go by to "Make Somebody Happy," to "Make Somebody Glad," on this one day each year.
This is the "Sweetest Message ever told," and that is one of the reasons why this day is called "The Sweetest Day of the Year."

Where it all began:
Observed the 3rd Saturday in the month of October, Sweetest Day observance originated in Cleveland in 1922. Herbert Birch Kingston, a philanthropist and candy company employee wanted to bring happiness into the lives of orphans, shut-ins and others who were forgotten. With the help of friends, he began to distribute candy and small gifts to the underprivileged.On the first Sweetest Day, movie star Ann Pennington presented 2,200 Cleveland newspaper boys with boxes of candy to express gratitude for their service to the public.
Another popular movie star, Theda Bara, distributed 10,000 boxes of candy to people in Cleveland hospitals and also gave candy to all who came to watch her film in a local theater.
Primarily a regional observance celebrated in the Great Lakes region and the Northeast, Sweetest Day is gradually spreading to other areas of the country. People tend to take the Sweetest Day tradition with them when they move. Ohio is the top state for Sweetest Day sales, followed by Michigan and Illinois. Texas, California and Florida are among the top 10 states in sales.
Over the years, Sweetest Day has evolved into a time to express romantic love and also to show appreciation to friends.

Making It

2010-10-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

There are times in all our lives where we struggle. With money, love, faith...you name it! Satan hits us where we are weakest and again when we are down. But I know that we can make it through! I know that I can make it through! At times when its toughest I try to consider how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I think about what He wants me to learn from this trial. How can I grow from it? And then of course there is much praying...that's what keeps us going!

I am one that gets SUPER EXCITED about Christmas waaaay too early. I am of the belief that the month of December isn't the only time we should have Christ in our hearts. It should be always! And so, I know its not even Halloween yet...but Halloween is a Holiday right? lol

So, this Holiday season lets try to remember not only what Jesus Christ did for us, but why. Try to remember how much your Heavenly Father loves you! Because He does, and He always will. That will help pull you through!

Love you!

FINALLY FALL!!!

2010-10-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it is about time! It finally started cooling off this week and I REALLY hope that it lasts! This is the best time of the year and I don't think I could stand it if it stayed so hot any longer!!! I really want to go out and take some cute fall pictures on Main Street.
For those of you that don't know, down on Main Street in Grand Junction, Colorado are a ton of cute little (not really little at all) statues and it is such a great place for photos! Hopefully I can get some taken soon and put them up for you all to see!
But in the mean-time....what are some other Fun Fall Activities that I can do? Lets be creative...what are your top five favorite things to do in the fall?

The Perfect Love

2010-09-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone. With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, with having an intense personal and loving relationship with Me alone. Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found. Then you will be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be completely united with another until you are united with Me; ~ exclusive of anyone or anything else, ~ exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to have the best. PLEASE allow Me to give it to you. I want you to stop planning and stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best so just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things and listen and learn the things I tell you. You just wait... That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have received or that I've given them. Don't look at the things you THINK you want. Just keep looking to Me or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you could dream of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, (and I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time). Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and this is the PERFECT love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love. Know that I love you. I am God, Know it, and be satisfied!"

Just say no...

2010-09-20T19:13:00.001-07:00

Here We Go Again....

2010-09-20T06:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Peanut Gallery,

Okay, I JUST got rid of a cold a week ago...and now I have another one?! NO FAIR!!! Somebody, please help! How do I get rid of these things and how do I avoid them? I can't stand feeling this way all the time! Scratchy throat, itchy eyes, plugged up sinuses, plus i'm achy and tired. Its nuts!!! Please, anything would be helpful.

Sincerely,

Miserable

This is Awesome!!!!!!

2010-09-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

Fall into Winter

2010-09-17T20:37:00.000-07:00

Clearly my blog needed a Fall Facelift, let me know what you think!

I realize I haven't posted anything in a really long time! I'm so sorry! That is about to change though! I officially have internet in my apartment and I have soooo much to say! Hopefully I can get some good feedback from everyone too!

So, its about time for Fall! My first favorite season! ...and then Winter! Which happens to be my second favorite season! Go figure! lol.

I've got so much on my mind for whats coming up! What to be for Halloween, what kind of cookies to make for the exchange in December, where to put the Christmas Tree, what will my New Years Resolutions be? Aaaahhh!!! So much to do!

I also want to learn how to cook! For reals! Not just out of a box anymore, so ladies, if you have any favorite recipes please feel free to send them my way! You can post them here, email them or snail mail them to me. I'm going to print them out and make a book but I love snail mail so here's all the info!

Email: jewellsomm@gmail.com

Snail Mail: 1800 Main Street A31, Grand Junction, CO 81501

If you have any advice for...ANY OF IT! Please! I'm begging you! Let me know, because I am at a complete loss!!!

I have discovered a few new "favorite things" and I will be posting them very shortly!

Stay Tuned!!!

How Many Times

2010-08-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

We all go through relationships that don't workout. And some of us, go through them over and over. Sometimes with the same people....why? Why do I have a problem moving on? Why, when someone else, someone better comes into my life do I run back to him? Do I think that something will change? Do I think that one day, he will magically mean something that he says? Or do I just find some sort of sick comfort in the fact that I know what will happen with him? I will get hurt, I will end up alone, and I will probably find a great guy - put up a wall - and come running back again.
How many times will this happen?

Great Video: My New Life

2010-05-31T22:19:00.000-07:00

I FEEL SO GREAT!!

2010-05-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

I recently did a little "Spring Cleaning" with my iTunes. I also replaced the songs that were currently on my iPod with some new, more uplifiting music..and let me tell you, I've already seen a world of change! Who knew?! I guess I never realized how much certain types of music can affect me Spiritually, until I made the decision to change it. Boy, if that's not the best, of the simplest decisions i've ever made...I don't know what is.

I think that with this change, I can see more clearly what other things I need changed. That is a huge step! You can't fix something you don't know is broke, right? It's such a great feeling just KNOWING that i'm on the right path. I love it!

Now, I find myself thinking...what next? What else can I change, delete, or just improve in my life to help myself right along? You guessed it! Of course, its the obvious Seminary/Primary/Sunday School answers that everybody knows.

Unlike I-15, however, with my Spirituality currently under construction, I believe I will actually be MORE accessible! Oh, what Joy!!! As I delete the poison's from my life, and invite the goodness back in, I can already see the blessings that i'm recieving...LOVIN' IT!

Gotta Love Sunday!!!

2010-05-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

Today was such a great day!!!!

It was Music Sunday in the Grand Junction 12th Ward...so basically we sang hymns all day. I was diggin' it!

I took a REALLY LONG nap on Mike's couch, which was nice...although, I think I was snoring. Mike said I wasn't, but then he laughed so, idk what that means.

Mike's sister Sarah made a DELICIOUS dinner for their mom for Mother's Day! And they shared! lol, it was yummy!

Went to Ward Prayer and spent a little bit of time with friends.

Couldn't top that!

Also, for those of you whom I've missed, I'd like to wish you all a very Happy Mother's Day! I sincerely hope that you were spoiled beyond belief, you all deserve it!

Here's hoping for a week that is just as pleasant...:crosses fingers:
GOODNIGHT ALL!

Sleep: The wicked won't get it, the good won't need it.

2010-05-08T00:27:00.000-07:00

I feel like I need it sooo much but, I never get it. I'm so tired each night, but by the time I get home, I get that second wind and can't seem to even keep my eyes shut.
Does this mean i'm wicked?
I look over the things i'm doing in my life. And I know there are certain things that I can/should live without. I can't seem to get rid of them, however.
Does this mean i'm weak?
"You will have the power to overcome all temptation." The only line I can remember from my Patriarchal Blessing. I need to get a new copy of it but never seem to 'get around to it'. (What does that even mean?) I know I will only have this power if i'm doing everything right...everything i'm supposed to be doing to follow the Lord.
So, what am I missing?
SUNDAY SCHOOL ANSWERS. Everyone knows them. They seem so simple yet....yet, what? Am I avoiding it? Am I ignoring it? What am I doing?
"We live in a day and time that is a battlefield. We need to be armed each day to make it out alive." This is my favorite 'locked' text message i've ever recieved. I read it everyday. So....what is the problem?
I must ask myself, "Holly, what are you doing (or not doing) in your life that is keeping the Spirit from you? What must you do to change it? Why have you not begun to fix the problem?"
I don't have an answer for myself. Is it because I don't know? Or is it because I have no good reason? Is there any such thing as a "good reason" for not doing the right thing? No!
Now, what?
"Do or do not - there is no try." Thanks Yoda.

Its about time!

2010-04-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

So, i'm really bad at this blogging thing. I read everyone's...just have a hard time posting my own. So here's an update of everything so far.
Colorado is pretty awesome. I love all the outdoors and everything that you can do here. The possibilities are endless! I went snowshoeing for the first time! I also went hiking, while it was snowing...to a water fall! Figure that one out?! It was a blast though! I can't wait to do more and more! Everyone here has horses so i'm trying to find someone that will take me horseback riding....no luck so far.
As far as employment goes, I just started TWO jobs. I work at Taco Bell and I work for the Local Census Office. My hours are a bit crazy and I will be lacking in the social life for quite sometime...but it'll be worth it.
I'm playing the guitar a lot more...not really progressing with it...but still playing a lot more. I'm also kind of trying to teach myself how to play the piano...there is some progression there. But only some.
I LOVE my ward! Which is strange because I never thought that any other ward could live up to the Pacific YSA standards...we're pretty close here! I'm having a great time! I have a great calling as a part of the activities committee and we are always busy planning and preparing fun and exciting things for everyone! We have some majorly great ideas! I wish there was more time so that we could do them all!!!!! But so far we just have to narrow it down to the best of the best.
No dating yet....there are a few guys I may be interested in but I don't want to ask and then expect them to pay for everything...so we'll see what happens when I start recieving paychecks. I did ask one guy to go dancing...because we can get in free...lol. But he took a raincheck...maybe another time. It was last minute...I asked him ten minutes before I left so I can't blame him for not being able to make it. He seemed happy that I asked, and bummed that he really couldn't go, i'm taking that as a good sign. There is another guy I want to ask on a date...but i'm having trouble coming up with a plan for what we could do...so any ideas would be great!
Well, I do think that is the jist of it. I'm just trying to keep a float with all that is going on. Majorly good times! Some that are not so good...but I try not to focus on those ones.
Well, it seems that its time to go for now! I hope to hear from you all and I will try to keep posting more often!
TTFN

'The Glad Game'

2010-03-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

What can I be 'glad' about?

My family, my friends, my faith, my health (sort of...it could be worse), the sunshine, my ward...there's so much I can be glad about that it would be a little bit ridiculous and probably very tedious for me to list EVERYTHING right here. Now, I know i'm not the most chipper person you've met. But hey, I am trying! "To try is to sit, you have to do!" ya ya...saw that movie too. Yoda said something about it as well didn't he? Not the point....yes I have one.

The point is that I haven't failed, because I haven't given up. Everyday I keep trudging through, finding things to laugh about and things to smile at. No, it's not always easy...but who's life is? If you think your life is easy then be extremely grateful, and hold on tight cause there's something coming around the corner for you. That's life and, I'm living it.

I think you should give life a shot. Totally worth it!

Moving on...a pre-requisite to happiness?

2010-02-08T08:59:00.000-08:00

I was different with them. I was calm, I was positive, I was happy. I wasn't scared of marriage or kids...or anything! Its amazing how just the daily example of a certain person (people) in your life can make such a profound difference. And it's shocking how quickly those fears and feelings come flooding back when that example leaves.
I almost feel like they were a drug...a pill I could take everyday that made my life so much better. I've become dependant on this drug. Its something that I needed constantly and after so long I would have to go back for another fix. But now I have no access, no dealer...no way to get ahold of the thing that I need (want) to be at my peak.
Now, I know that it is possible for me to be the best me..without it (them)...but it won't be easy. It's like a man trying to bulk up fast...but without the steroids. It seems almost impossible, it takes a lot more of your time. Its exhausting.
I have to have the faith, that I can do it without them. I have to do it for myself now, not for another person. I have to do what I know is right...not what they tell me is right. (not that it was ever wrong) It's just me this time.
And...I can do it.

This is just sad.

2010-02-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

I feel so terribly embarrassed for the person who asked this question! How does someone, living in this day and age NOT know something like that? Even though they teach it in just about every computer/typing class we all take through grade school, isn't it common knowledge? Why would you ask a question like that? on a public forum? on the internet? for the whole world to see? Maybe Yahoo! felt bad for this person...that's why the discussion was posted on the Yahoo! home page. I think my favorite answer has to be the one that says, "they have them on desktop computers too!!" lol, the next question will be, "what is a desktop computer?" my oh my!

On my laptops keyboard (QWERTY) there are some ridges on the F and J buttons, what are they for? - Yahoo! Answers

Let's call it summer!

2010-01-31T18:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know its only January. But I am sooo ready for summertime. The music, the sports, the tan...all of it. And as I was thinking about this I realized. Summer it always the time of my life! Winter's...good. But oh, Summer! I even made my official Summer Music Playlist! You can get a little taste of it right here on my blog!

I know we have a whole lot of Winter left but you know what Mother Nature? I don't care! We'll do it in the snow. It is now officially Summer Time!!!!

Break out the short shorts and sun tan lotion, i'm going to the beach! (figuratively speaking)

Come on, who cares about the weather. I've decided i'm going to have the time of my life, always! Cause three months out of the year just isn't gonna cut it any longer!

Who's with me?!

A Blanket of Hope

2010-01-26T12:29:00.000-08:00

Today, as I was standing outside waiting for my step-mom to come pick me up from my interview, all I could think...."It's absolutely freezing out here! This coat, these pants, these shoes, no hat, not exceptable for this weather. Oh, when will she get here? How long till i'm warm again?" It was me, me, me. Not that this is an unexceptable time to be thinking about oneself. But all I wanted to know was how long it would take until I was safe and warm again. I knew it would not be any extended amount of time..but the seconds ticked by ever so slowly.

However, on the way home....

As we pulled into a gas station to get a drink, I saw a homeless man huddled against the outside wall. He was trying to find shelter in the place where the snow would not hit, where the wind blew the least. He was barely succeeding. I can only imagine what he was thinking...."It's so cold. This coat (that's worn), these shoes (with holes), these pants (too short), no hat....it keeps me pretty warm. If only I had a blanket. I wonder if i'll ever be warm again." How much hope can a person in this situation have? I knew I would soon be warm, he only wonders. Maybe someday things will turn around for him. But for now, he just waits. And the seconds tick by ever so slowly.

However, in my heart I feel....

I know where warmth comes from. Not from homes and jobs and heaters and money. No, it comes from your heart. From the love we feel, from the Spirit that speaks so softly, it comes from the knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me so much! And that He gave his Son for me! For everybody, but really specifically and lovingly for me! Oh how protected this knowledge makes me feel. And I know, like today in the snow, if I just stick it out and work hard...I will be warm again. I don't know the exact moment, but I know it is coming. And the seconds seem to go by just a little faster.
Like the homeless man at the gas station, those that don't have the Gospel in their lives don't know. They try and keep hope that someone cares, that things will turn around, that they will one day be warm. But with out a blanket, or the Gospel...all they have to do is wait, and wonder.

Share what you know. Share the truth and the light with everyone. You don't have to give them everything...just give them a blanket. And maybe, that blanket will give them more hope. And maybe their time, will go by just a little faster. Just maybe.

Spring Cleaning Comes a Little Early This Year.

2010-01-19T17:53:00.000-08:00

Lately i've had a lot of negative things happening in my life. As I try to wade through the trash and avoid the big negative's I realized, maybe, if I picked up once in awhile it wouldn't be so hard to get from one side of the room to the other.

Hmm, can anyone say "Metaphor for life"?

My days wouldn't be so negative if only I removed the negative objects from below my feet. Instead of trying to make it through the trash, clean it up!

As hard as it is sometimes you just have to say "Goodbye".

So that's what i'm going to do. I'm saying "Goodbye", to a lot of people, places, and things that keep bringing me down. I don't have to live this way and its about time that I make my own choices, cause there is only one person who REALLY knows what's good for me, and that is God. I'm making my own choices now and they all begin with Him. And if I keep it up, it'll all end with Him as well.

That is the ultimate goal, afterall.

Hi there!

2009-12-25T20:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it's been...a long time. And it looks like I need to change my background and everything...BUT ITS SO HARD! Can anyone help?! I want something cute but i'm not clever like all the rest of you faithful bloggers.

I guess I should make this an official post and tell you whats going on in my life eh? I've moved...again...I live in Grand Junction, Colorado. I really need to find a job so please please please pray for me!
I'm really excited for all the new things I get to experience. There's all the new people wherever I may work, also in my new singles ward. Living with my Dad again...its been a really long time. Also my sister is due Jan. 21!!! I'm going to be an Aunt! I cannot wait to meet my new niece Ashlyn Grace Moses!!!

There's so much more. But I think i'll keep this short.

oh yah,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

General Conference October 2009

2009-10-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

A friend of a friend of mine took all of the talks from the first presidency and the quorum of the twelve apostles (all 75 pages) and put the text into something called Wordle. It picks out all of the most used words from the text that you enter and creates a collage like the one below. I think its interesting to see what they were trying to get across this October. I love this!

WebMD....idk how to feel about it.

2009-10-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

For those of you that don't know. WebMD has this awesome thing called a symptom checker. Basically it has a sketch of the human body, you click on where it hurts and then go through a list of symptoms and you check the ones that you have. It will then take those symptoms and give you detailed descriptions of about twenty different problems that you can read up on.
This is not to be used to diagnose yourself. It is simply to help you get an idea of what's going on, and then you know what sort of questions to ask your doctor. It can makes things in the doctor's office go a lot smoother.
Now when I use WebMD, I've made it a point to not freak out at the first thing I read...and then at all other 19 problems down the list. Chances are I don't have a broken leg AND prostate cancer. So I simply try to read about all of the possible problems with a completely objective point of view. (idk if that said what i meant it to say) Lets just say i'm not going to assume that i have everything on that list.
However, when you've read everything on there and....eh...they don't all match up. I can see quite a difference in what they say and what my actual problem is. But there is one...about the fourth down on the list....every single symptom of it is EXACTLY what i'm experiencing. How long things last. When they happen the most. A very detailed description of where exactly I have pain. Everything checks out.
Meanwhile, i'm wondering how exactly am I supposed to feel about that? Its not like its a minor problem either, this is a huge issue! But I can't afford to go in and get it even looked at. Now, if I absolutely knew what the problem was and/or how to take care of it better. It would be a lot easier for me to decide whether its worth it to have a doctor (and possibly surgeon) involved. But without knowing for sure, I don't want to spend all that money, that I don't have, just to have a doctor tell me to take it easy and use tylenol for the pain. Because i've been doing that. For three weeks i've been doing that.
I'm at my wit's end, will somebody PLEASE give me advice on what I should do?
Thanks for listening.

Why I want to go through the temple.

2009-10-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

The temple garment, like the Holy Ghost, is the ultimate protection. Its a constant reminder of why we're here and what everything is about. It helps us to remember Heavenly Father's love for us and what Jesus Christ did for us when He was fulfilling the Atonement. It's like a constant embrace from our Father in Heaven, telling us that everything will be okay.
I have the opportunity for this type of reminder everyday when I choose to live worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. And knowing that this reminder could be even greater after I have the opportunity to go through the temple is something that I can think of constantly in order to help me work towards the temple and recieving my endowments and someday, even a temple marraige.

Photography is a thriving art!

2009-10-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was searching Google for Bridal Photo ideas for my bf's wedding coming up on Nov. 6 and I came across sarahstilesphotography.blogspot.com. I absolutely LOVE her photography style and her creativity. While I was browsing her photos I came across the maternity and infant photos and just fell in love. My sister is due in January so I put these up for her. These are a few of my favorites that Sarah has done. Enjoy!

I'm just swimming.

2009-10-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

My favorite new quote is actually one that I JUST recently noticed in a movie that I watch pretty often.
"Sometimes He calms the storm, sometimes He calms the sailor, and sometime He just lets us swim."
Well, I'm swimming. I've been having such a hard time finding a job, a long with a lot of other crazy things that have been going on in my family. I really am trying not to complain...I think that may be the hardest part.
I remind myself daily that its all in the Lord's way. My time to thrive will come. I just have to keep my head above water for just a little longer.
One of my favorite things to do is ask people for scriptures. So if you have a favorite scripture or one that you've come across lately that really stuck in your mind, would you mind posting it as a comment for me to read? And feel free to read any that you see someone else has posted.
One of my personal favorites is 1 Corinthians 10:13. Sometimes it even helps to substitute the word "temptation" with "trial", or "test". I believe that the Lord wants me to know that. That He will not give me any problem I can't overcome. And the scriptures definitely help me with that. So if you can post your favorite scripture for me that would be great. And I hope that my favorite scripture can help you get through as well.

Okay everyone! Play along, I think this will be fun!

2009-09-23T05:04:00.000-07:00

I've posted a poll on the left column of my blog asking simple 'Get To Know You Questions' and I want you all to answer it. Basically each question will be up for one week. I will then choose another question that I would like you to answer.
Remember its all in fun. I hope you guys will play!

Trying to post things, but it seems impossible!

2009-09-23T02:46:00.001-07:00

I tried adding some word documents for my friends to see, but the image uploader wouldn't accept them because they aren't pictures. So I tried recreating them as pictures but that was altogether time consuming and they didn't look as good that way. Then I created a Scribd account so that I could upload the documents there and then post them on the blog. The documents did not upload properly there either.
So, I'd like to add the documents so that you all can vote on them. I'd like to, but I can't.
So sorry.

If you have any tips to post 'word documents' on blog please let me know.

Thanks.

The good, the bad and the ugly. :Wedding Rings:

2009-09-23T02:30:00.000-07:00

THE GOOD

I absolutely LOVE these rings. I think they are gorgeous! Simple, yet elegant. Very classy.

This is fun. You record your voice saying "Yes, I do" and they etch the sound wave into a very modern wedding ring. Of course you can say anything you want. They even make necklaces! THE BAD

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Who would wear these???!!

THE UGLY

Admittedly...I did laugh the first time I saw this. But what a gruesome thought for a wedding ring? If you are divorced or planning on it, and hopefully you're not, they have what's called "The Wedding Ring Coffin." May your memories rest in peace and out of sight when you place the ring inside its own, very detailed, very small coffin. You can even buy plaques that say things like "Rest In Peace" and "I do....NOT!"

How Much is Too Much?

2009-09-20T00:39:00.001-07:00

There are some things in life that i've never been a pro at. So when it comes down to it, I don't actually know what i'm doing. How do I know how far to take it? How do I know when to just let it be? And how do I know when to just realize that it is a waste of my time and move on?

From All Sides

2009-09-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

He's coming at me from all sides.
Temptation, urges, my family, he's trying to get me mad.
What can I do, to drive Satan's influence from my life as much as possible?
I don't know how to get rid of him.
How can I make him leave me alone?
Please, please, leave me alone!!!

The Day the Towers Fell

2009-09-12T02:57:00.000-07:00

They awoke, packed, security, board, take off.
They awoke, commuted, clocked in, worked.
They awoke, washed, ate, waited.

They heard, they cried, they hit.
They heard, they thought, they ran.
They heard, they dressed, they drove.

They died.

We heard, watched, gasped, and cried.
We thought, prayed, pondered, and looked.
We stood, we stand, united.

Everyone saw something different that day. Some people were confused. A lot were terrified. But I think that most of us, were furious.
We stood up and spoke out. We supported and loved eachother. We were strong.

What happened?

The current downfall of our economy is a direct result, not of the events of 9/11, but of the fear that we let enter our hearts that day. They never got us before. We were undefeated. Why stop now?

Don't let them scare you! Stand up! Speak out! Fight back! I'm not saying, War. I'm saying, lets be American again. Be the same Americans we were during WWII. Be the same we were during WWI. Be the same Americans we were when we took our freedom.

What happened to those people? They had heart. They had drive. They had balls!
Grow some, and join us.

We are the United States of America.
Let's unite, and be American again.

(This is to encourage everyone to join The 9/12 Project. On Saturday, September 12, Glenn Beck will be broadcasting LIVE from Washington DC, from 1pm - 3pm ET. Please watch and listen. Take notes. Its about time we take back our country!)

A Happy Day

2009-09-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

So, I am helping a friend plan her wedding that's coming up on November 6th, 2009. While its stressful its also very exciting. I see her smile and laugh and cry and plan and dream and i'm just so excited for her and her fiance' to be going through the temple and beginning their eternity together. But there is that part of me that, while i'm so happy for them, wishes I was planning my own wedding. Is this pathetic? It's not the particular guy, I'm not even sure its primarily the fact that they are getting MARRIED. I think, mostly, its the fact that its the temple. I want to go through the temple. Yes, I know, my time will come. I think, however, knowing that I can't go in, just makes me want to that much more. That's kind of how a lot of things work down here isn't it, lol.
I miss it. I miss the feeling of peace and serenity, just knowing how close you are to your Heavenly Father when you are in the temple. But I also know, that if I just have that patience and that obedience and that endurance that we are commanded to have, I will soon receive the blessings that we've been promised. I will receive the blessings and the opportunity of the temple and probably even marraige.
While it is a long hard road, I know that it will most definitely be worth it. And I can't wait until the day I can answer affirmatively, the question, "Do you feel worthy to enter the temple, the house of the Lord?" That will be a happy day indeed.

If I Only Had Today

2009-09-10T02:56:00.000-07:00

Hilary Weeks new album, If I Only Had Today, raises a question...what would I do, if I only had today?
I would want to do all of the things that I think would make you happy. The problem here is, I don't know if they really will, make you happy, that is.
I could clean the kitchen and do the laundry, I could even vacuum the stairs. But would that really make you happy? Tomorrow I would just wish that I had done something different. I'd wish that I would've held you. I'd wish that I would've told you that I love you. I'd wish that we would've talked about forever. But most of all, I'd wish that I had today.
Knowing that I may only have today, is scary. I want more. I want tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. But we only have today, right?
I know that we have tomorrow. I know that we have forever, eternity. But earth is a scary place without you. And i'm scared that today is the last day with you on earth. I just hope that my prayers are answered and that you can stay with me for a little while longer here on earth.
But most important, I hope you know that I love you.

Impatiently Waiting

2009-09-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting patiently, but i'm not sure what to do whilst I continue waiting. I have to admit I don't have a great deal of patience with...well, anything. So this is becoming quite ridiculous.
I've applied to work at the Sherwood Mall Sprint Store and the only thing that we need before I start is the background check. Have you EVER heard of a background check taking more than THREE WEEKS?!! I have to tell you, I am actually getting pretty upset with the whole situation.
I need a job. Not just any job, this job! I've done the math and getting this job at Sprint would be absolutely more than perfect, for the situation i've, regrettably, gotten myself into. And I do not have the time to wait for the stupid background check, or the fact that its been put on hold because of the hiring freeze they have going on right now. Bill collectors will not wait, and I can't either.
I know the situation is nobody's fault but my own, its just getting really frustrating waiting for the economy to bounce back from whatever is going on!
UGH!!!

My Mistakes

2009-09-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

Do you ever learn from your mistakes, before the mistake has even ended? Like you've been trapped?
I've offered myself to this whole thing and now that i'm in it and can't get out, now I realize that I can't do it. I just really hope that I don't screw this up for them. That's what I feel like is going to happen.
I don't even know where to go from here.

One Week Down!

2009-08-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

Okay! It's been a good week. Very relaxing and very stressful all at the same time. I've been in touch with the manager of the job that i'm up for. We're just waiting for the background check to come back and i've pretty much got it. However, I'm really trying to not be so sure. I don't want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed. But if anyone would like to keep me in their prayers, I really do need/want this job. It would be perfect!!

Other than that...i'm just kind of having the time of my life. Hanging with friends and family. Just making sure that i've got quality time with all of them. After all, life's too short.

And......I'M BACK IN CALI!!!!!!!
Love it!

:Back Home:

2009-08-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been quite a journey. Don't let me fool you, I'm still going. But only after a little pit stop to my home town Stockton, California. I guess i'm finished in Utah...for now. Hopefully I'll return to this beautiful valley. I love seeing the mountains no matter where I look.
All of the ups and downs of the Rocky Mountain Terrain are quite the metaphor for what its been like for me out here. Happy and sad times. Easy and tough times. And then all the friends and loved ones gained and lost. Hopefully not lost forever. Those who are gone temporarily will always be in my heart. For whatever reason, we have parted ways, I still love you!
I've learned a lot about myself. A lot of my likes and dislikes. Things that I'm good at and things I should never try. The kind of people that are best for me, and the worst. And those that meet both.
My roommates: Samantha, Anna, Nikki, Charidi, and Krista. Wow!
My friends: Z, James, Levi, Brandon, Johnny, Terry, Terri (my stock-town bruthah), and Jason. Of course Jenny, Doug and Shaela. Brian, Spencer (i'll never forget that night...lol), Wes and his RockBand set up. And Everyone from PG.
My family: Brittany and Trevor. Dad and the fam. Vanessa and the boys. Krys, Billy, Errin, Jason, and all the kids. Triple G and Grandpa Mikie. And of course my Joshy!
It's definitely been quite a journey. You have all taught me things I never thought i'd learn.
Ill be in the 9X until further notice. So if you're ever stopping by or passing through please come see me.
Right now i've gotta finish packing. After all, my train leaves at midnight. Yes, a train. I know, very poetic of me.
Love you!

Jack's Magic Compass

2009-04-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

Lately my life has been really messed up and confusing. I'm not going to go into details. But basically the one thing I really wanted to do is not an option anymore. I messed up. And it turns out everyone was right....I can't do it. I don't have much else to say. Just need a little venting space.
I'm not sure where to go from here now. All of my immediate goals were facing this one life changing thing. I really wanted it. But I apparently forgot about it long enough to totally screw it up. Now i'm not sure what my goals are leading towards.
My direction is lost.
I need a new compass. Maybe one like Cpt. Jack Sparrows...one that points to what I want more than anything. At least then i'll know. So that I can either achieve it, or change my life so that I can have something even just a little bit better than what I supposedly want.
I guess if I ever get one of these magic compasses It will be really helpful. But let's be honest...even if Jack Sparrow was a real person, I think he's too greedy to give me his magic compass. Ya know?
Anyhow, I guess i'm done venting for now.
Peace.

Tithing works! ...I have proof.

2009-02-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, maybe not proof. But I know that it works.

I ordered a free trial of something online. And we all know that free really means you have to pay for them to ship it to you...what's five bucks? Well, I never recieved my order. And so that they didn't automatically send me another order for the full price I called 5 times to cancel and couldn't ever get someone on the phone. So I emailed their customer service thing to cancel it. Well guess what, they pulled $45 dollars out of my account the next month. I was livid! I tried calling another 8 times to cancel it. And after finally being on hold for 2 hours and not getting anyone I emailed them again...and again. Nothing.

So I went to my bank, Wells Fargo, and told them the issue. So they cancelled my card and are sending me a new one. (that way the company can't charge me anymore) They also put the money, the $45 and the original $5 for shipping, back into my account.

So today I get this phone call. It turns out that $45 dollars that the company took, that I didn't authorize, caused me to overdraft SIX TIMES!!!! What's $35 dollars times six? Apparently its $210 dollars!!!!! They gave me back that money!

I so totally needed that money you have no idea. I've been worrying for like three weeks how I was going to pay my rent and viola! Now, I can do it!

Yes, like all banks, Wells Fargo has fees. And yes, they're overdraft fee is higher than a lot of other banks. But when there is something wrong, they sure as heck fix it! I love Wells Fargo.

I love paying tithing! It works. I love the church! It's so true.

As a wise man once said, "We are the offspring of Heavenly Father, it is against out "genetic code" to be happy going against the commandments of God." Paying tithing is a commandment. I promise it will bring you blessings and happiness. Afterall, it worked for me!

Getting My Ducks in a Row

2009-01-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day. After work I had a few errands to run. I had to turn in an application, go to the bank, pay my phone bill, go to another bank, and talk to the apartment manager. I did it all! I did it all in great time, I was home by 4. It only took me two hours! That was awesome! It only seems like a few errands, but a lot was accomplished today. I even finished my laundry! How often does that happen?
Well, as I was acting the part of an adult today I realized that paying bills and having responsibilities doesn't have to be a depressing thought. It's, actually, kind of fun. Especially when you know at the end of the day, that everything will be okay. That you're on the right path; physically, spiritually, mentally, financially...and all of the -ally's you can come up with.
So, that's it....i'm twenty-one. I've got a full time job. I'm on my own. And i'm responsible. We never thought it would happen but guess what...I'M AN ADULT!

Need a new look!

2009-01-25T21:56:00.000-08:00

Hey guys and girls! I'm getting bored of the look of my blog. You all have such cute backgrounds and pictures and frankly..i'm a bit jealous. hehe. Any tips? Where do you come up with the cuteness? Help a sista out please!

Love ya!

Worthy and ready!

2009-01-11T21:51:00.000-08:00

Okay, for those of you who have been keeping tabs on me...I did it. I am worthy of, and hold a current temple recommend! I'm so excited! And to celebrate, my friend Tyler and I will be going to the Salt Lake Temple to do baptisms for the dead.

I love doing baptisms. It is one of the times where I feel the spirit the most. I just feel so peaceful doing it. So, here we go.

We decided that we are going to try and go to the temple at least once a month. That should be great in helping me to STAY worthy to hold a recommend. I'm so excited. It's been over a year since I've been to the temple and it is about time I paid a little visit.

I will keep you posted. Thanks for believing in me.

To Better Myself

2008-12-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

I've been browsing my list, occasionally adding a few things. I'm trying to decide where to begin. Some things aren't necessarily measurable, but constant. Things such as not being in debt, paying tithing, getting a second job, and finishing the Book of Mormon. So, of course I slowly need to start those things first. Then, I think that eventually the other things will fall into place more easily. Especially since with a second job and no debt i'll be able to pay for what I need for the other things on my list! haha, i know i'm kind of crazy. Hopefully, all goes well.

I'll keep you updated.

The Look in His Eyes

2008-12-10T23:28:00.000-08:00

Do you ever look into someones eyes, and you know that you've either inspired them, or you made them proud?
My roommates; Samantha and Anna, and I went to the gym tonight. As they were doing there thing I did my thirty minutes on the treadmill. Walk four minutes, run two minutes. It was brutal! My legs burned and my lungs ached and my breathing was labored and uneven. I could see worry on the faces of my roommates but I knew I was fine, so they would have to deal with it. I pushed myself, and pushed myself and I almost gave up, quite a few times actually. But I did it! I made it, thirty whole minutes. I didn't even die! Haha.
As I get off the treadmill, and I go to stretch. There was a guy, he'd been there the whole time. Never seen him before in my life. Don't know his name, don't know anything about him. But when I walked by him he looked up at me, and as he gave me a high five he said to me, "Good job!"
I saw it in his eyes. He was proud. He'd seen how far I pushed myself. He'd seen my inner struggle of whether or not to give up. And he watched me smile as the timer said thirty minutes and I completed my run. And he was impressed. Seeing that look in his eye was inspiring to me. If someone I've never even met could see all that, in a measly half hour run and be proud. Why couldn't I be proud of myself?
My whole life i've struggled with my self-esteem. With my will power to start things, and to finish them. I've struggled with the knowledge that I Can Do It! But not anymore. It's going to be hard, and that struggle will never go away. But i'm going to conquer it.
If for no other reason than the look in that man's eyes, i'm very glad that I went to the gym tonight.

Whistle while you work!

2008-11-05T14:17:00.000-08:00

So bored all day at work. So scared they're going to fire me. Then when they pull me aside they're telling me how good i'm doing and to keep it up! Yess!

I'm looking for another job though. It will be sad because I will miss my roomies and probably a lot of church activities but money is money. And money I need.

Wish me luck!

Epiphany

2008-10-17T17:19:00.000-07:00

E-P-I-P-H-A-N-Y

Okay, so I stole that from T-pain. He won't mind.
So last night I had some serious thinking time. Which, in the past has been quite dangerous for me. But I think this one did me some good. I need to turn my life around. In so many ways i'm headed down the wrong path. I don't know if you've read my post Inside of Me. The song that I recently wrote about this same topic. I want to..strike that...need to do this. I need to do it for me. Not anyone else but me. So many people, including my mother, grandmother, and one of my best friends, tell me every day that I need to do better. I know this. I just wasn't sure I was ready to. Well, I decided about an hour ago, I really think I'm ready. I just got off the phone with Bishop Jones and I'm meeting with him this Sunday, October the 19th. As short of a phone call as it was, it wasn't easy. But I did it, I'm doing it.
I've had a great day today. I did hang out with some bad influences. I love my friends and I hope that it doesn't come to a point where I have to stop seeing them. They love me enough that even though they aren't headed down the same path, they will support me. And I'm glad, lucky and ever so grateful that I have these friends.
My post, Turning a New Leaf, may have been a bit pre-mature for me at the time. But I am definitely serious about this one. Last night, while I was in my 'thinking spot'. (that's a disney reference for my Mom) I was afraid that I would wake up this morning and feel differently. But I didn't. Not even a little bit. Which is rare...but also very good.
Do you ever make a decision one day and the next day say..."eh, I was just joking." Well I do that a lot. In everything. But this time I didn't. Hopefully this time it will last.
I would love to help out the missionaries as much as I did in Summer of 2007. But I just can't. As much as I love them, and I love missionary work I need to help myself now. I know they will understand...after all, they are the most understanding and forgiving people I have ever met. And I don't just mean the Sacramento missionaries. Althought they will always have a special place in my heart. I know and have met missionaries everywhere i've been. Two missions in Colorado, a few here in Utah, Las Vegas, New York, Argentina, Brazil, Guatemala, Australia, even Japan. I've met people who have served, are serving, and will serve in all these places. And I can't help but love them. Occasionally I still feel that I will join them one day for my own full-time mission. But right now, the most important thing is that I get myself back up on my feet, on the right track, and figure out what i'm really supposed to do and where i'm really supposed to go.
I have asked myself a time or two, why? Why am I in Utah? Why did I go to Colorado? Why did I lose my job? Why do I do the things I do? Haha, some of my closest friends have told me that I'm here in Utah because "Jeff comes home soon." Haha, as much as I like the kid, he doesn't like me. And i'm okay with that. Hopefully he'll be one of my really good friends for a long time to come. I would hate to lose him. But no matter what I think and why my friends tell me i'm here, I need to start asking myself what, not why? Not, why am I in Utah, but what am I going to do now that i'm here. Not why do I do the things I do, but what am I going to do to change that and how i'm going to do it.
It all starts now. I'm going to meet with the Bishop, go to church, read the scriptures, and I'm really going to try to pray. I wish I could say that I will pray, but as much as I want that to be true I don't want to lie to myself or you about it. And I defenitely don't want to lie to my Heavenly Father about something so sacred and special.
I still have a Testimony. But the flame is slowly going out. The more I cuss, and swear, and do and say all the things I do and say its just going to get smaller and smaller until it is finally gone. And that, above all other things, is something that I cannot lose. If I lose another job or lose another friend or lose anything else in my life, it will not be my testimony. I love it too much. It is something I cherish so deeply. When someone asks, "if you were stranded on a desert island and could only take one thing with you what would it be?" I would always hope that I could take my testimony. That's all we need. The knowledge of, not just the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but the love that He and our Heavenly Father has for us. That means more to me than anything ever could.
Maybe that's why i'm so happy today. Is because although i've lost so much and I sometimes feel like I have nothing, I will always have that knowledge.
I've baptized a couple of friends who have also lost sight of that. But Elder Abeyta, Marchant, Hixson, Leatham, Hill, Barsdorf, Dipo, Halibuk, Rasmussen, Bushman, Barron, Grigg, Pond, Harrington, Chavez, Bird, Edge, Fuimaono, Stirland, Malley, Vincent, Sorenson, England, Williams, Gregory, Smith, Woodward, Sister Tilby, Fuapau, Street, Chapman, Fudge, Jason, Laurie, Pat, Nikki, my mom, my sister, they were all right. I helped give them something that they will always have. And as much as I'd love for them to see that now. They may not. It's their choice just like its mine. All I can do is love them and pray for them everyday. They felt it once and I know from experience that you can't deny something like that. It's impossible I know i've tried.
I guess through all of the babbling I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know the church is true more than i've ever known anything. It is the most precious gift my parents, and grandparents and so on could have ever given me. And I'm ready to live my life the way I need to, the way I want to. The way Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father want me to. This is my testimony and may it grow and hopefully help touch the lives of others as it is His will. I love Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father so much and its about time I showed it.

I'm a total DORK!

2008-10-09T19:44:00.000-07:00

It's supposed to snow on saturday! Yessss! Love it sooo much! I cannot wait! Love Christmas more than life itself. LOVE IT! Okay...my dorkness is over.

No wait, wait...LOVE IT!

Okay, now i'm done.

New Job

2008-10-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Just wanted to give you a quick update. I had another interview today. It was at a call center right here in my complex called Feature Films for Families...basically, its clean flix. I start on Monday! Yay! It'll be outgoing calls which is kind of a drag but I practically don't have to even speak. I just push a button for whatever I want to say and the computer does it for me. It's 9 dollars to start and at the end of the month I have an evaluation. If I pass I move up to ten. Every three months is another eval and possibly a one dollar raise every time. I have a friend who used to work there. He was making 15 when he quit! Oh the possibilities.

It's not exactly ideal but there are a lot of perks, the pay is obviously one of them. Also, its in the complex like I said. So I don't have to drive anywhere and have plenty of time for lunch at home so I don't have to pack anything. This will save me a lot of money on gas and fast food...which I shouldn't be eating anyway.

Sorry its short. Just wanted to let everyone know how i'm doing. I love you all and thanks for the support.

Holly

Inside of Me

2008-10-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I'm doing.
And I don't know how to quit.
But I know what I want, and I'll do what I can.
I just don't know where to begin.

To get the faith that I need.
To hold out and succeed.
To get the faith that I know is inside of me.

I want to grow up, and I need to move on.
And I want to do what I was taught to.

To get the faith that I need
To hold out and succeed
To get the faith that I know is inside of me

You see I've always known where I'm going
I guess I must've lost sight along the way
Now I open my eyes, it's time to say our goodbyes
Because I'm back on the road heading the right way.

Peace be unto thy soul, you will triumph over all your foes.

To get the faith that I need
To hold out and succeed
To get the faith that I know is inside of me

:These are the lyrics to my new song Inside of Me. So far it is my favorite. I like that it is a little more rounded, and better for more than just those that have the Gospel, to relate to. It talks about the struggles I'm going through and how I want to get back to where I was just last summer. And that is a struggle in itself. I hope to get it recorded and to you soon. The lyrics are powerful but the music makes it so much prettier. I want you all to know that I am grateful for your support and I love you all. If you want a copy of this once I get it recorded just let me know and I'll see what I can do.
Thanks.
Hol

Turning a New Leaf

2008-10-02T01:31:00.000-07:00

As most of you probably don't know i've been struggling a lot lately. I lost my job. I miss home. My roommates and I aren't getting along too incredibly well. I haven't been going to church. A whole heck of a lot.

The other day I was talking with my roommate Samantha about...what else...boys. We were discussing what we wanted out of guys and how it shouldn't seem too difficult, but we really are very confusing. The thing I kept coming back to was Temple Marraige. And that made me think, of course, of all the things that come with that but more importantly, lead up to it. None of which I was doing. I realized just then what I was doing to myself and my dreams by being stupid now.

Yesterday I started writing another song called Inside of Me. It talks about getting back the Faith and the Testimony that I once had. It tells how I want all these wonderful things that we are promised by living His commandments, but how I don't exactly know how to get back on the Straight and Narrow. Writing some of these words made me realize even more of what I am missing out on.

Ever since I was sealed to my family in the Salt Lake Temple I've wanted this. And I guess I just lost sight of that. I want to get back so badly I just don't know what steps to take. Where to begin. Who to turn to. Then I found a scripture that a missionary once gave me, D&C 121:7-8 part of which says, "Thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment." It made me think of Joseph Smith. All the things he went through and dealt with. Those things being very similar to a lot of what Jesus Christ also went through. The faith and the courage that they both had to do everything that they did for us. It is incredible. It is something I only wish that I could have.

I thought about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. About Joseph in the Sacred Grove. How they both knelt and prayed to Heavenly Father in their time of need. Two of the most important prayers ever spoken. The rest of which are the ones we say everyday. Thanking our Heavenly Father and going to him in our times of need. The ones that I haven't said in a very long time. I decided that I would do as they did and turn to Heavenly Father for help. I will start with my Bishop. I will tell him what i've done, what I want, and what I'm willing to do to get it, which is everything I know that I must do. Everything that I promised, on my baptism day, that I would do. Everything that they did, and that is first to have the Faith.

It will not be easy. I know this, i've lived it. But if I truly want for myself what my Father in Heaven wants for me. Then I know what I must do.

I ask for your prayers as I turn my eyes up towards the Tree of Life. As I once again try to find the Iron Rod. As I look for "the faith that I need."

This is the beginning. And if I do that which He hath commanded. I know that it will not be the end.

How Its Been

2008-08-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry its been so long. I guess that's what happens when you get busy. Well, I've been in my apartment 'officially' for about two weeks. Its been great. A little hectic but over all absolutely fantastic.
We've been meeting a lot of people just...randomly. At the pool, or we'll go for walks, or someone just knocks on the wrong door. Its actually pretty great.
I haven't been to the ward yet...next week I promise!
Work has been great. I am switching departments though so that I still have a job in the off season. My schedule will be 11am to 8pm...this is good. It will allow me to get to bed at a decent time....(or have more time to chill with my new friends).
Basically, my roommates are amazing. There are two that none of us really know. And i'm afraid that we may not get to know them very well. If they are ever here they are always just shut away in their bedroom. We've been trying to get them to come out and hang out with us. We'll break the shell eventually.
I'm not sure what else I can tell you at this time. Just trying to get in a quick update.
I miss you all. Please keep in touch.
Holly

Ah, the Memories!

2008-07-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

Homeslice needs more comments...even though maybe 2 people read my blog.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

"Find the Good in Everything"

2008-06-28T22:39:00.000-07:00

Being poor has its perks I'm sure. I just don't know what they are yet. I'm trying to live by the phrase, "find the good in everything." So far though, I don't think I'm doing too well. I was having so much fun...and I'm still having fun but, I think I've somehow driven myself into this mental "ditch". I didn't even see it there. And I don't know how to get out of it. I want to ask some people for help. I'm not afraid they'll say "no". Actually, I can pretty much guarantee that they will all say "yes". But then, I'm going to have to accept their help. That's the hard part, for me at least.
I think that I'm pulling back into my shell. That is not a good place to be. Let me re-phrase, that is the worst place to be. I've made a pretty good friend, but I can already tell that she's getting annoyed because I'm building that wall back up. Somebody please, knock it down! Then call off construction because I am absolutely sick of doing this to myself. Except I don't know how to stop anymore. I've been living in this pattern for so long it's become an addiction. And I can only go so long without a fix. I need intervention but I don't know who or where to get it from! And I honestly don't know if anyone cares about me enough to do so.
No, its not a pity party. I'm being serious. If it were a drug or something they would totally intervene and help me out. But this, I just annoy people with it and they don't want to be around me at all. And, "out of sight, out of mind". That's pretty much how I exist in this world. If you're not around me chances are you are not thinking about me. And I'm okay with that but, I just want that person. That one friend who calls me first. Who invites me out to lunch because they missed me. For 20 years and 362 days I haven't ever had one of those. I'd like to think that I've been waiting patiently. Well, is it my turn yet?
I'm trying to "find the good in everything", I'm just not very good at it yet.

Torn

2008-06-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

I have two jobs...or so I thought. I haven't been working at Sears like, at all. I keep trying to get ahold of my manager there but if I call she's never available and when I go in she's never there. I don't know what exactly I should do. I guess I'll just keep going in for my computer training and catch her when I can. I don't want to quit. I like it there...so far. And no matter how many hours I get at APX I still need the Sears job too. I'm not sure what to do. My hope was that I'd be working 9 to 5 at Sears and then my 630pm to 1230 at APX. So far the only one that's pulling through is APX. And some really good news about that, next Saturday is an opportunity for some major overtime! Some people are trying to work from open to close that Saturday. That means 6am to 2am. I am definitely one of those people. Time and a half is my favorite! That's $15 an hour for 12 hours of work! I will take any and all hours that I can get at APX. I don't want to completely shut out Sears. I want to work there too. But $15 an hour! You can't beat that. I'm leaving in just a few, today. I want to go get some hours in at Sears. It'll just be computer training. But maybe i'll get lucky and Heather will be there so that I can talk to her about a schedule. Maybe I'll be able to go in tomorrow from 9 to 5. And then I'll do my normal shift at APX. It'll be one Grand Full Work Day! That's exactly what i'm looking for. Then I can go in Friday from 9 to 5 also. And Saturday from 5 to 9. Since my Saturday shift at APX is from 830am to 300pm. And then I can work a full shift on Sunday. And be back to my 9 to 5 everyday next week! I really hope that Heather is there today! I really really need these hours. I didn't apply so that I could get one $10 check and then be done. I applied so that I can work. I need to be able to work. I really need those paychecks.

I Screwed Up!!

2008-06-19T16:33:00.001-07:00

Ugh...I've been doing so fricken well with my training and taking calls and everything and today....I SCREWED UP BIG TIME! I was on a tech call and like an idiot...I forgot to take the payment! So basically I hooked up the person because they didn't make their first payment...but I screwed the Rep because now they are losing extra points cause I had to set it up on Direct Invoice. Ach Mi Laben!

Employment and car troubles often go hand in hand.

2008-06-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

At least for me they do. And all I can think is, "at least now I have a job so that I can fix the car troubles." Optimism is key.
So, I got both of the jobs that I wanted. The shifts didn't exactly work out the way that I planned but one step at a time. I started Sears today. I start APX on Tuesday. I'm going to be working at Sears in the morning shifts and then at APX from 6:15 pm to midnight. At least its not till 2 am right? You see, optimism.
I'm actually really excited. My training for both jobs is this coming week. Sears I can pretty much go in whenever just for my computer training and just keep going until it is finished and I start on the floor on Friday. APX, I have training Tuesday through Thursday from 11 am to 7 pm. And then I'm on the phones on Saturday from 8:30 am until 3pm. So I have a busy week ahead of me. Well here's some more good news. Maybe I will be tired enough to fall asleep before 4 am....or at all!

* * * * *

Today I went on this hike with Hailey this morning. We left at about 9:30 am. We hiked up to the G on the mountain. That is for Pleasant Grove High School. The hike was actually really difficult. Very steep. So its good that it was pretty short. It took us about two hours round trip, but that is only because I am friggin SLOW! But hey, I made it. And it was fun. We're going to try to do that twice a week. That'll be a good work out huh? Hopefully it really shrink my bottom...hehe. That is what I'm hoping for anyhow.

Well, more next time.

Feeling GREAT!!! - With no particular reason in mind.

2008-06-13T00:02:00.000-07:00

This last week has been the best, in a really long time. I can't pin point what happened over the weekend to make me feel so optimistic, but I don't care. I feel liberated and the one thing that I want more than anything else in the world, is for the feeling to last forever. Now I'm twenty years old, I'm not ancient or anything, but I've lived plenty long enough to know that I should just enjoy it while it lasts. But I really don't think that I've ever felt this way before.
Along with my optimistic and all too fantastic week I've made some, quite possibly life altering, decisions. First, I completely forgot how much I love history. I haven't taken a history class since ninth grade but I love it. So I've decided that after my mission I definitely want to go to school for history. As much as I loved it in Virginia I think I would like to try and get accepted to BYU. I know that I will have to retake the ACT test and do some MAJOR studying in order to get an acceptable score. And I will probably have to take some summer or online courses before they accept me as a full-time student. I would like to try and get a dance or softball scholarship of some sorts also, to help me pay for the outlandishly priced tuition they charge. So i'll definitely have to work on that too. Visit the batting cages, take some classes and do my own practicing in my free time.
Second, I love running. While i'm no good at it and I can't really run for more than thirty seconds at a time, I absolutely positively love running. So i'm going to start. I'm doing a ten week "become a runner" training, that should have me running for thirty minutes by the end. I'm so ridiculously excited for it. The training begins with eight days of walking and I started today, and I feel great!
Third, I really need to buckle down. I believe that I will very soon, be working two jobs. I need it and I am capable of it. Both are jobs that I know I will love so that part is easy. But I really need to 'work' on my work ethic. I am generally a very lazy person, so two jobs is going to be exhausting. But I need the money, and we all know that I need the kick in the pants. My hope is that APX will give me a full-time job with a steady schedule, and that I can work at Sears on the nights and weekends. I have confidence that APX will hire me for their call center, I just don't know how the schedule thing will work out. But I'm praying about all of it.
All of this liberation and planning and what not, is going to be overwhelming for sure. But I know that if I can keep a good attitude and I turn to the Lord, I will do great.

Job Hunt

2008-06-06T15:02:00.000-07:00

So far its been going really well, aside from the fact that I still don't have a job. But i've gotten more interviews than I ever wouldn've gotten in Stockton! I had an interview today and it went REALLY WELL. I have a second interview on Tuesday. I also have an interview for another job on Tuesday! I'm still going throught the classifieds and doing applications on line and i'm compliling a list of places that take paper applications and i'll be going to those places on Monday.
Whew! It's a lot of work but it's got to get done. I'm crossing my fingers! I need work!

About me

2008-05-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

The only person that I have always loved is my mom. But once I love someone I will never stop. I will think about them often. I will never want to lose touch with them. I will fight for them in all things, even if they’re wrong. I will stand by them. I will stand up for them. I will take a bullet for them. Each and every person that I love, I love enough to die for them.

My friends are everything to me. They are my lifeline. I want to be with them often. I want to talk to them. Everything I do or say is soaked with thoughts of them. Anything can and will remind me of them. No matter how long we may have been separated I think of them. I have many friends that I desperately wish to be reacquainted with.

I am very nostalgic. I remember silly little things that nobody else does. I love remember when’s and walks down memory lane. I hardly remember the bad times and I try to focus on the good. I can keep something so stupid and silly just because through some strange string of thought it reminds me of someone that I love.

I love movies. I will quote a movie way past its welcome. I can watch the same movie 3 times everyday for a month and not get tired of it. I like movies that nobody else has seen or heard of or will ever take the time to even consider watching. There are a lot of movies that I regret ever seeing but love them anyway, they are the ones I quote the most.

I am very forgetful but only when it’s important. You can tell me 8 times remind me 12 and even write me a little note but I will still forget. And I hate it that you keep reminding me.

I love having responsibility but I hate actually being responsible. I love it when people trust me but will crumble under the pressure.

I love boys. I will always choose boys over girls. I will always refer to them as boys and never as men. And when I’m around boys I will pretend like I know what I’m doing and what I’m talking about no matter how obvious it is that I have no clue. I always want to be better than the boys though we all know I never will. I love it when boys try to teach me things. I love trying to be “one of the guys” even though I’ll never make the cut. I love it when boys tease me. I love it when boys flirt with me. I love it when boys look out for me and stand up for me. I love it when boys compliment me. I love it when boys tell me that “I’m the man.” I love seeing boys get nervous. I love it when boys are honest. I love it when boys are shy. I love it when boys will do something for me simply because I asked them to. I love it when boys use alternative ways to tell me something they shouldn’t tell me. I love it when boys come to me for advice. I love it when boys give me advice. I love it when boys call me back. I love it when boys call me first. I love it when boys admit that something reminded them of me. I love it when boys give me nicknames, no matter how lame they may be. I love it when boys accept the nicknames that I give them. I love it when boys will call me just to say “Hi.” Every boy that I know, I have considered dating. Every boy that I am still friends with is no longer on my dating list. But every boy has the opportunity to get back on that list. If I call a boy once or twice I’m interested in him. If I call him more than that I just want to be friends. If I don’t call him it’s because I’m talking to a different boy. If I ignore his phone calls it’s because I’m talking to a girl about him.

If I don’t answer my phone, it’s because I don’t have it within reach of me. If I don’t call you back it’s because I forgot. If I don’t text you back it’s because I have nothing clever to say. If I don’t text you in the first place it’s because I’m busy.

If I ask you for help I really need it. If I offer you help it’s because I really need it.

I hate it when people assume that I have ulterior motives. I hate it when people tell me I can’t do something. I hate it when people tell me I should do something. I hate it when people compare me to others. I hate it when people think I’m lying. I hate it when people tell me I’m wrong. I hate it when I am wrong. I hate it when I’m right and people won’t believe me. I hate it when people dismiss my ideas without even considering them. I hate it when people ask me for my ideas then tell me that they are stupid.

I hate it when people tell me that I can’t do something just because I’m a girl. I also hate it when people expect me to do something or be a certain way just because I’m a girl.

I hate it when people tell me they will do something and then don’t follow through. I hate it when people ignore me because they know I want them to do something. I hate it when people think that I’m annoying when I’m trying to get something important taken care of.

I hate it when I tell a joke and people think I’m stupid. I hate it when people keep bringing it up when they don’t know why I said it in the first place. I hate it when people think I don’t understand because “I’m too young.” I hate it when people tell me “it’s an inside joke“, obviously it’s an inside joke or I would be laughing too…that’s why I asked you, dufus.

I hate it when people call me to only talk about them. I hate it when people call me to only talk about me. I hate it when people call me to only talk about him. I wish we could just find a happy medium.

I hate it when people assume that they are smarter than me…you probably are…but you don’t have to act like it. It makes you look like a cocky bastard.

Another 10 hour drive

2008-05-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

...sighs... Long story short i'm moving to Utah. It may not seem like it now but I really am excited. But 10 hours is a long time. And i'm sick of moving, i'm sick of packing and un-packing. It's probably one of the most annoying things on the planet that one could be doing. But i'm done now. It didn't take me very long...which is kind of surprising.
But change is difficult. I'm excited, and there are so many good things that could happen [crossy fingers, knock on wood, and all that]. But its still change. I was barely settling in and now I have to leave.
The worst part is...well actually, the worst part is not important. I'm excited and happy about the decision....but i'm still nervous.

Hurry up and wait! Wait...what?!!

2008-05-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

That's exactly how I feel right now. I have to hurry up and make all my decisions. Then I get to sit here and wait for other people to make decisions that deeply affect me. And I need to know these things! Ugh, i'm trying to be patient but it's not something i'm very good at. And my situations are not making it any easier to learn patience. ....sighs.... I know its not supposed to be easy. But it would be nice.

Technically it was my chance....but it was barely even half a chance!

2008-05-19T00:12:00.000-07:00

If you read it before I take it all back....i was just getting my anger out. He has very good points....by the time I can actually get him to tell me what they are! but I have points too...and he's just not listening to them.

and by the way....i hate it when people think that they know what i'm thinking. Don't EVER question my motives about ANYTHING. Because chances are, you are wrong. Nobody but me knows what i'm thinking. So don't pretend that you do.

SHE'S AT IT AGAIN!

2008-05-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

I did it!!! I got another sale! Yay. Oh man it felt so good...I was having a pretty crappy day then I ran into one of my co-workers, Darin. "Lose the attitude girl!" I know exactly what he meant, so I did just that. The next door...BOOM! Excellent credit too! Which means "i got money in the bay-ank!" Oh sweet sister lizzy sing me a sweet song of joy!!! Yesss!!! Let's keep it up, shall we?

:i've never been this poor:

2008-05-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Since I got my first job at 14 years old, i have never been this poor. I was doing so well and then it all went down the drain. The thing is, I could get paid really well if I can just sell one a day. Just one, everyday. It's not that hard...unless you're me. I don't know what my problem is. I am trying, but i don't think that my manager believes that I am trying. And that is a bad thing. He needs to see production, obviously, in order to know that I am doing my job. ....sighs.... I really need to figure this out.

I don't do so well with this kind of thing.

2008-05-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

I barely mentioned it in my previous blog. I suppose i'll explain it now. On Friday, May 9th we had a tragedy in our office. One of our technicians died on Friday morning. I don't know exactly what happened. He was drinking the night before and he went to sleep on the couch. Apparently he threw up while he was sleeping and he asparated...if that's the right way to spell it. His name was Micah Cronin. I didn't know him too well but, he was one of the only guys that was really very nice to me.
That morning was so hard. Of course I was crying because a friend died. But then I cried even harder because I felt like an idiot for crying. I didn't know him as well as anyone else and I didn't feel like I was allowed to cry for him. I was also crying for everyone in the office and for his family and friends. How must they feel for something like this to happen so suddenly. He wasn't a bad kid at all and alcohol took him.
Poor Cooper was an absolute wreck. He was already so stressed out. And then Jake went home because he felt guilty for what happened. Jake was so cool I can't believe that he went home. I can't believe that anything is happening the way it is.
Today I was talking to this lady who seemed really nice, and I totally had the sale....then she insulted me. I froze, I just couldn't believe someone could say something so horrible to another human being.
I'm so scatter brained right now. I keep trying to give people help and advice when really i'm the one who needs it.
Then I found out that a dear friend of mine has Polycystic Kidney Disease. She's in the early stages but this is a pretty serious disease that can cause Dialisis. She had already put off telling me for awhile so I'm glad she finally told me. But this was just...bad timing.
My Grandma is still doing pretty good but she keeps having more and more problems.
I just wish that there was something that I could do about it. I can't help anyone and I can't fix anything and its just making me mad.
I don't know what to do.

I'm doing it!

2008-05-09T22:05:00.001-07:00

I'm actually selling. It feels great, by they way, to actually be pretty good at what you're doing.

I'm 15 on the Top First Year Reps list for the Region! That's out of 40 reps I think....well i'm tied with like...15 people but..still! My name is on the list! That's all i'm asking for. Now I just gotta be on the list for the whole company. And not just Top First Year Rep....TOP REP. I know I can do it....just gotta work at it. And I definitely plan on it.

If you're reading this you know how my day went. Micah was a sweet kid. We'll miss him. Our first half of the day tomorrow, all of our sales and installs, we are donating the money to a charity for Micah's family. I don't care if I sell the rest of the day but I at least want 2 for him. It's going to be tough but I know I can do it. Espacially for someone else. I'm better at doing things for other people, than I am at doing things for myself. It's a curse. But i'm working on it. Haha, not that its bad to help other people, but I do need to leard to help myself first.

Love ya!